What Are You Going To Do With What Has Happened?

There are times in a believer's life that rock us to our very core.Times when you know, without Christ, you could not make it even an hour, much less another day. Betrayal by your spouse is one of those times. When your life and family are ripped apart by the selfish sin of adultry, it is a pain worse than death.

• Peace doesn't flood the heart of a woman whose husband has chosen to forsake her for another.
• Peace doesn't flood the heart of a woman who hears her husband matter-of-factly saying he is moving on and that she should too. How do you reconcile this monster with the man who just a week earlier was professing his undying love to you! 
• Peace doesn't flood the heart of a woman when she learns a woman she didn't even know existed had already replaced her in her husband's heart and in his life.  
• Peace doesn't flood the heart of a woman who is told by her husband that he is too broke to honor his financial agreement to her right now. Especially when the reason he is broke is because he has been taking his mistress on extravagant vacations every month.
• Peace does not flood the heart of a woman when she learned her husband, who claimed to be too busy to get away for a planned family vacation, chose to sneak away with his mistress.
• Peace does not flood the heart of a woman whose husband claimed to love his family but now says it was a mistake from the beginning.
• Peace does not flood the heart of a woman who shared her life with a man who is openly, publicly and unapologetically flaunting his adultery with a woman who is also married.
• Peace does not flood the heart of a woman when her husband has turned their sacred covenant of marriage into a freak show worthy of an episode on Jerry Springer.

So, how can a woman (who would rather run away from the scandalous mess her life has become) stand strong in her faith and flood her heart with peace? By taking her broken heart, the betrayal, the humiliation, and the depravity brought into her marriage covenant and she can lay it at the feet of Jesus. Jesus knows the pain of betrayal. Isaiah 53:3 - He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.

When we take our pain and lay it at the feet of Jesus, and allow him to ask us - What are you going to do with what has happened?

1. We can choose to surrender to the despair of our circumstances. But our pain would be for nothing.
2. We can choose NOT to surrender to despair - but choose to stand up and let the LORD minister to us in our hurts. Then our faith is proven as genuine. Remaining faithful through our trials is beautiful to the Father and he actually boasts about us. Imagine hearing the Father's voice saying, Isn't she beautiful?!! Choose wisely ... allow God to bring Beauty From Your Ashes.

If you have experienced the pain of betrayal - Keep the faith!
As co-heirs with Christ, we will receive a double portion for everything the enemy steals from us. This is but for a little while .... so stand strong and persevere! Take confidence in knowing who allowed this and why - allow God to use this for your good and for His glory. Pray and ask Him to have His way in you and to remove whatever is holding you back from complete freedom in Christ.

I don't know about you but, if I'm going to go through the pain anyway - I want it to be used for my good & for His Glory! Praying for you Beautiful Ones that God will bring Beauty from Your Ashes.  

What Are You Choosing?

If you read my previous blog "Wake Up Church" you know I have a fire in my belly when it comes to divorce. I get so angry when I see marriages (and families) fall apart because of selfishness. That said, I want to make it clear it is NOT selfish to protect yourself and your children. If you (or your children) are in an unsafe situation .... you should seek safe shelter, safe counsel, and PROTECTION immediately!

However, if you are a woman (or man) who has simply "fallen out of love" with your spouse you need to be reminded >>> love is a choice.

We choose daily to love (or not love) our spouses.

We choose daily to forgive (or not forgive) our spouses.

We choose daily to commit (or not commit) to our marriage.

Divorce doesn't happen overnight. It takes many little choices not to love, not to forgive, and not to commit before we end up contemplating divorce.

What are you choosing?

Forgive me, I am slow in returning ... : )

No, there was not a problem with our travel plans. And no, there was not a problem with our return flight.

There is (however) a slight problem with my willingness to let go of my "island girl" mentality .... just yet. Can you blame me? Look at this picture of our final night!

For now, I will simply say .... God is faithful. And He delights in showing Himself to us in ways we can not even think or imagine.

"Sat(her)day" Day Dreaming

You may be a little confused by this post. No, I didn't cave in and bring my Blackberry or laptop with me. I simply wrote this "Sat(her)day" entry before I left and scheduled it (in advance) to post today. (See "Couples Retreat, How Sweet")

Because I planned my "Sat(her)day" time before I left for my trip, I gave considerable thought to what my greatest need might be by today. With that said .... I will spend some time today daydreaming about:

• how to bring this "island" mentality home with me & my hubby


• how to keep couple time alive amidst our hectic daily routines at home

When is the last time you spent some time daydreaming about your man?

Give it a try today. Fall is a great time to "fall in love" all over again.

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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

Couples Retreat, How Sweet.

A couple of months ago, my hubby and I were given a wonderfully unexpected and generous gift of an all expense paid trip to an exotic island. (Yes indeed, God is good!)

After many weeks of preparation, the time has come ...

in just a few hours, I will be acclimating to the mentality of an island girl. I'm laying down my Blackberry. And giving the laptop a break. : )

For the next 5 days, there is only one agenda. To romp around a beautiful island with my hunky hubby.

I know you will understand. (Wink)

See ya next week.

Sometimes the best option to regain balance is to delegate, delegate, delegate ...

Look at your list (see yesterday's post), and be honest. Are the things on the "only I can do" side of your list TRULY things ONLY you can do? Or are you simply unwilling to relinquish control of them? A wise "keeper" of the home knows when it is necessary to delegate, delegate, delegate.

Once you have identified the household things which can be delegated, you will need to identify the recipient of the delegated tasks. : )

If married, begin with discussing options available to your family with your husband. Together, choose the option which best fits your budget, season of life, etc.

For couples who both work full-time outside the home, you could possibly share the household responsibilities. For example, if one cooks, the other cleans up the dishes. If one vacuums, the other dusts. If one does the laundry, the other cleans the bathrooms, etc.

For households with children, you could possibly delegate a specific household responsibility to each child according to age & maturity level.

Another option is to hire a professional. If you are pretty good at keeping up with the daily cleaning, but never find time to do the "heavy" cleaning - perhaps a monthly visit from a cleaning angel would be just the ticket to get you back in balance. If you struggle just keeping the family fed, and in clean clothes ... perhaps a weekly visit from a cleaning angel is more in order. : )

Once you identify the areas which need to be delegated, and to whom you will begin delegating them, keep in mind the following:

• Be flexible. No one will clean your home exactly the way you clean your home.
• Be forgiving. Things occasionally will be broken whether you are cleaning, your teenager is cleaning, or a paid professional is cleaning.
• Be a good manager. Clear (and realistic) expectations are the best way to lead.
• Be appreciative. Remember this person's help is freeing you up to do other things God has called you to do. BE APPRECIATIVE. An appreciated helper is a happy helper, and an appreciative manager is a happy manager.

10 Ways to Nurture Oneness back into your Marriage

This list is by no means exhaustive. The first 5 suggestions are meant to simply reset your pattern of behavior. The next 5 are meant to get you thinking. The possibilities are endless... : )

1. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO NURTURE YOUR MARRIAGE! If you did not grow up with this example of marriage, you may need to ignore the voices in your head telling you it is selfish, or that a good marriage shouldn't need to be nourished. It's not selfish, and a good marriage definitely does need to be nurtured. And as for the kids, giving them this example of marriage is one of the most loving, and necessary gifts we can give. They may cry a bit now (especially if they are old enough to notice this is NEW behavior for mom and dad) but will thank you later.
2. PLAN IT! Get with your hubby and discuss the plan. And then get it on the calendar. Yours, his, and the family calendar!
3. GUARD IT! There will be times it will be necessary to change plans but ... define necessary. It is easier to define necessary before the "drama" strikes. Define necessary, and stick to it. : )
4. ANTICIPATE IT! Write your hubby a love note and leave it in an unexpected place (on the bathroom mirror, in his briefcase, in his lunchbox) telling him how much you are looking forward to your date. And (or) call him when you know he will be unable to answer his phone ... leave him a message telling him how much you are looking forward to spending alone time with him.
5. MEET ALONE! Be creative ... if your schedules are really out of balance it may be necessary to start with simply meeting for coffee, breakfast, lunch.
6. MAKE IT REGULAR! Commit to making this a regular occurence. Get out your planners and schedule it. Meet regularly (ALONE) for coffee, breakfast, lunch. Weekly is ideal, but bi-weekly is probably more realistic goal. Monthly is not regular. : )
7. DREAM TOGETHER! When was the last time you and your guy shared your heart, your dreams, and your passions with one another? Take a walk. Hold hands. Share your dreams.
8. PRAY TOGETHER! Nothing connects our hearts more than praying together with our spouse. This may seem ackward at first but ... hang in there. Pray with your hubby and see what happens. : )
9. PLAY TOGETHER! Remember the days when you were dating and no matter what you were doing it was fun, just because you were together? May I suggest that is because when we were dating we were more likely to be found "playing" together. Find something you both enjoy, and do it together. Something you can do (not as mom and dad) but as husband and wife, as a couple, just for fun ... PLAY TOGETHER.
10. GET AWAY TOGETHER! When was the last time you had a trip with your man? If you said your honeymoon - you need to plan this IMMEDIATELY! Whether it is one night, one weekend, or one week. The reward is sweet. Do not underestimate the reward in getting away together.

I hope you have been inspired by some of the above suggestions. If you are not doing any of the above already, do not be overwhelmed. Simply take one of the suggestions and begin to implement it today. Then add another, and another ... Take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey of rediscovering the beauty of ONEness when 1+1=1.

Balance Anyone? A Marriage 911

We have already established (in previous posts) it is NOT wise to continue just simply "turning up" the intensity of the area most in need of nourishment but... there are times when it is VITAL! Today, we will turn our focus to "those" times.

Let's begin with marriage. If you find yourself feeling more like a roommate than a wife these days, you have (most likely) been neglecting to guard the time necessary to nourish your marriage.

Ask yourself why?

Before you simply dismiss this by saying you are too busy, or he's too busy, or the kids have you both too busy ... Ask yourself (and BE HONEST) how intentional have you been in planning alone time with your hubby?

Time with your man is how you got to know him, how you grew closer to him, and how you came to love him while you were dating. And time with your man is how you will continue to know him, how you will continue to grow closer to him, and how you will be reminded why you married him.

If you have not been intentional in planning (by now) you know ... these times don't just happen. They didn't just happen when you were dating and they will not just happen now that you are married. You may share the same house, the same bed, the same kids, and the same dog but ... without time alone the oneness you crave will end up looking like two peeps going in different directions while sharing a house, a mortage, some kids, and a dog.

That's when we start feeling like a roommate instead of a wife.

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If you are there, or know someone who is, join me tomorrow for 10 ways to nourish oneness back into your marriage. : )

Regaining Proper Balance - Part 3

I promised you an answer and an answer is what you're gonna get .... over the long haul, the only way to stay in balance is to maintain the balance. Regaining (and keeping) the proper balance will require diligence. Determination, hard work, and maintenance!

Yes, regular maintenance. How often is regular? You will determine ... quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily? But regular maintenance is what's gonna keep you out of the ER (so to speak) and trucking along in balance.

If you're married:

• begin by discussing the areas which may need adjustment with your husband. Ask his thoughts on where you may need to "turn up" or "turn down" the intensity.
• pray together.
• be willing to adjust the balance according to the needs of your family as it grows/changes.

If you're single:

• consider discussing the areas which may need adjustment with a trusted friend. Ask for their thoughts on where you may need to "turn up" or "turn down" the intensity.
• ask them to pray with you as you seek proper balance.
• be willing to adjust the balance as your season of life changes.
  

Whether married or single, do NOT neglect that which is most necessary ... Prayer. Your husband or your trusted friend may know you better than any human on the face of the earth, and may love you enough to tell you the truth but ... God is truth.

He knows what was, what is, and what is to come. Ask boldly and in faith for the One Who Sees to help you plan ahead for what you can not see.

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Join me tomorrow for more ... : )

Regaining Proper Balance - Part 2

Once you have tracked and color-coded your calendar for about a month, you should be able to see which area may be in need of an adjustment. Keep in mind, your colors will not be even. Most of us have one area (color) that will be predominant but the other areas (colors) must be part of the mix. For example: If you're calendar is nearly (or completely) void of ...

• red (marriage) ... you may be feeling more like a room-mate than a wife these days. :)


• pink (home/parenting) ... you may have no clean towels, an empty frig, and hungry kids. : )


• green (work) ... you are probably fighting a losing battle with your desk, inbox, or project load. : )


• blue (leisure) ... you may be saying things like, "welcome to my world!" instead of showing compassion. : )


• yellow (worship/quiet time) ... you may not even remember how to show compassion. : )


• purple (ministry) ... you may have lost all desire to show compassion. : )

Once you have identified which areas may need to be adjusted in intensity ... If your like me, your natural response will be to turn all your attention to the area most neglected. Although this may be necessary from time to time, and a good short term fix ... it is NOT the most effective long term practice.

What is?

Join me tomorrow for more ...

Moving On Monday - Regaining Proper Balance

As promised on Saturday ... (see "Sat(her)day" Reflection) ... today, we will look at some of the "yes, but how" on regaining proper balance. Let me first clarify we are speaking of "good" things here. If you are unsure if it is a "good" thing? Philippians 4:8 it ...

... whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute ...

If it's not a "good" thing you don't need to lessen the intensity ... you need to throw it out!

That said, how can we identify which "good" thing(s) in our lives may need to be adjusted?

• Look at your calendar. If you are not keeping one ... start today!
• Pull out your highlighters. Give each "good" thing that occupies your time a color. For example, work could be green, home/parenting could be pink, leisure could be blue, marriage could be red, worship/time with God could be yellow, and ministry could be purple.

Why did I list marriage, worship/time with God, and ministry last? Because (unfortunately) these areas sometimes simply get whatever is left. Sad, but true.

If you have been keeping a calendar go back and color the last month of activity. If you are going to begin (again) the discipline of keeping a calendar ... color them as you go.

This exercise should prove highly effective in helping to identify which areas may need a balance adjustment.

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Join me tomorrow for more ... : )

Sat(her)day - Preparation

Today, my "Sat(her)day" experience was a celebratory time of preparation.

Allow me to explain ... My husband and I have been dreaming of a romantic get-a-way for 15 years! A trip for two ... to paradise. Unfortunately, every time we have planned our trip, we have allowed the pressures of life (fear) to redirect our paths.

This past week, we determined to begin taking the steps necessary to bring our dream to fruition ... its been a FUN week of preparation.

Today, during my "Sat(her)day" time, I am celebrating what is yet to come ... : )

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What is your dream?

Have you allowed the pressures of life (or fear) to redirect your path?

Have you made the preparations necessary to bring your dream to fruition?

Take your dream, your fears, and your priorities ... to God.

Allow Him (and only Him) to redirect your path.

Blessings to you as you continue to DREAM! : )

"Sat (Her) Day, Saturday!" - Over the Top Good

This morning was "over-the-top" good ya'll ... and it wasn't even planned!

I was awakened by the silence of an empty house. No, that's not the good part and before rumors start flying around - there's no trouble on the home front. Hubby was simply playing an early morning round of golf. :- )

My "over-the-top" good morning began in the kitchen, when I did the UNTHINKABLE task of ... preparing a fantastic breakfast JUST FOR ME! I enjoyed my "girly" favorite, veggie omelet and an assortment of fresh fruits, and discovered cooking for one is fun, and yummy!

After cleaning up the kitchen, I got dressed and went to the gym. (Proof-positive of the connection between food and behavior ... Let's just say, I have never gone to the gym at 7am on a Saturday after eating an EggMcMuffin!)

After a shower, with the spontaneity still in the air, I remembered an unused gift certificate I had been given for a manicure & pedicure ... and it was calling my name! Mani & Pedi - here I come!

That's how my Saturday morning turned into "Sat (Her) Day!" morning.
I'm NOT writing this to brag, I'm writing this to encourage you to "go and do likewise" ...


Easy now, hang on - - Am I saying, kick everyone out of the house on Saturday? Certainly Not!

Am I saying, cook for only yourself on Saturday? Certainly Not!

Am I saying, to spend every Saturday at the gym, or getting a pedicure? Certainly Not!

Am I saying, to seek an "over the top" good "Sat (Her) Day!" experience every week? Certainly Not!

What I'm saying is ... my "over-the-top" experience reminded me it is okay and (dare I say???) HEALTHY to do "good" to ourselves on a regular basis.

That said, in an effort to hold you (and myself!) accountable, "Sat (Her) Day!" will be a regular feature on my blog. Every Saturday, I will share how I have chosen to do "good" to myself (some weeks may be an entire morning, other weeks might be just 5 minutes) and I will encourage you to do likewise ... by doing something "just for you" on Saturday, or the day of your choice during the week.

It will be fun, and encouraging, as we hold one another accountable in the weeks ahead ...

CAUTION - This practice of doing "good" to yourself will greatly affect your attitude while doing "good" to others. Be prepared to be caught smiling more often! :-)

"Double Portion Of Bizarre!" Part 2

Damage was minor, delay shorter than expected, and I was on my way home... Long gone was my "ahead of schedule" efficiency streak, but I didn't care. My only concern was to get home to my man. This was our final evening together and I was determined NOT to be distracted! I was able to keep my focus because I was prepared. Yes, preparation is good.

The next morning (rested and ready) I set out for the conference. Winding through the mountains of North Carolina, surrounded by nothing but HUGE rocks, I was suddenly very aware how small and vulnerable I was. And how glad I am that my very big God has His eyes on me. My heart turned to thanksgiving and praise.

I arrived at "SheSpeaks" with a full heart despite the severe thunderstorms which had followed me for the past 5 hours. With every session, and every encounter, God continued to repeat what He had already spoken to me on my drive ... "I am big. And My eyes are on you."

I left the conference with an action list a page and a half long, and was looking forward to processing all I had learned on my drive home. My plans (once again) took a 180 degree turn while traveling along I-85. I was in the center lane and there was a truck (not a semi, but a moving type truck) traveling in the fast lane. The truck decided he wanted the center lane which was already occupied by a unsuspecting mini-van! I was BEHIND the mini-van... I prepared for impact.

The truck took the middle lane, and in doing so... pushed the minivan (much like you would push aside a child's toy) into the far right lane of traffic. There was an explosion of glass that came back on my windshield. Both vehicles continued driving until it was safe to pull over, and no other cars were impacted by the collision.

I was speechless.

My mind went back to a conversation (okay disagreement) I had with my husband 2 weeks prior over which car I would drive to the conference. I thought it made perfect sense for me to take our convertible. It would use less gas and it would certainly add to my enjoyment. He insisted it was not safe - - He won. Needless to say, I whole-heartedly agree with his decision now! I don't even want to think about how that might have played out if I had been in the convertible when the glass came flying at me.

God continued to speak what He started on the trip up, "I am big and I have My eyes on you" and He added... "don't be irritated with your husband when I choose to protect you through him."

Not exactly the lesson I expected from this year's SheSpeaks but... I wouldn't trade it for the world! The "take away" I pray I will never forget is this - -

Do not be irritated with your husband when God chooses to use him to protect you. Respect your husband and remember... God is big, and He has His eyes on you.

Again my heart is filled with thanksgiving and praise, and a deeper respect for my man. :- )

Top 10 Ways to "Do Good" to Your Husband

Number 10 ~ Ask him! ... "What can I do to help lighten your load today?" Or, "Can you think of anything I can do that would be helpful to you today?"


Number 9 ~ Speak well of him. (To him, and to others)


Number 8 ~ Live (and dream) within your budget. : )


Number 7 ~ Manage your home well, and to your husband's liking.


Number 6 ~ Respect him. (And model that respect to your children)


Number 5 ~ Make time for him.


Number 4 ~ Be his friend.


Number 3 ~ Join him in his "play" (golf, tennis, fishing, hiking...)


Number 2 ~ PRAY FOR HIM!!!


Number 1 ~ Enjoy him! And allow him to enjoy you! (Be his lover)


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Check back on Monday for a closer look at Number 1. : )

Excellence as a Wife?

There are few things in the world that I feel less qualified to speak about than being an excellent wife. It sounds easy enough - - An excellent wife is one who "does good" and "not harm" to her husband. (Prov 31:10-12) Perhaps one of the reasons we miss the mark of excellence is when we forget...

Just in case you have forgotten, men and women are different. And to make it even more personal, you and your husband are very different.

Now before you spout off a list of "you don't know the half of it!" May I say, if you and your husband were not different one of you would be unnecessary. Yep, most likely, the difference that now makes you crazy about your guy is what you found most attractive in him when you were dating.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

So, you could say one of the ways we "do harm" to our husbands is when we fail to remember we were created to be divinely different.

Join me on Thursday, for the Top 10 Ways to "Do Good" to Your Husband...

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 6

Following Monday's exercise (see part 5) I have little doubt you have a new sensitivity to the power of your words. After the initial shock, and when he got up off the floor, I imagine your hubby is pleased you did your homework.

As we have already established, it is NOT our job to change our husband. That role is already taken. Our role is to be his wife.

We gain valuable insight into excellence in that role in the book of Proverbs...

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.


In the above passage (Proverbs 31:10 - 12) we see:

• An excellent wife is a treasure to her husband.
  
• He trusts her.
  
• He knows she helps him.
  

An excellent wife is trusted by her husband because...
she does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.

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Add (at least) 1 thing to the list (see part 5) of things you appreciate about your husband, and continue to communicate them to him, verbally or in writing.

Check back on Monday for more ways a wife can "do good and not evil" to her husband.

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 5

In Part 4, we established... A wife is able, having the sufficient power, skill, and resources to help her husband. Being like him, her training or experiences, have given her the ability to harmonize with him. A funny illustration comes to mind...

One sunny afternoon, a mayor and his wife were taking a stroll down the main street of their city, while he proudly pointed out his accomplishments during his time in office. Then they walked by a construction site and a man called out and greeted his wife. He had been a high school boyfriend.
The mayor said to his wife, “See, dear, if you had married him, you would be a wife of a laborer.”
She answered sweetly, “If I had married him, he would be the mayor.”

The wife in this story understood the power of her influence on her husband. But before we get too puffed up girls, that influence cuts both ways. Just as sure as a wife has the power to be a help to her husband, she also has the power to be a hindrance to him.

Are you being a help? Or are you being a hindrance?

Ruth Graham said, "It is not up to me to change my husband, that is up to God. My job is to keep him happy."

One of the ways you can keep your hubby happy is by respecting him.

Make a list of (at least) 5 things you appreciate about your husband. And then begin telling him, verbally or in writing.

• Verbal and written words of encouragement: “You handled that wisely,” “I love being married to you.”
• Compliment the little things he does - in front of others and privately. Mark Twain said, “I can live two months on a good compliment.”
• Remind him of his strengths and accomplishments.
  

Begin with these. Then check back on Thursday, when we will examine other ways we can use our influence to help our husbands ... see you then.

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 4

A friend recently asked me how many more parts there were in this series on marriage. Maybe you, like she, are wondering the same. I don't know what number we'll end up with but, I know this - I'm setting up camp here and I invite you, like my friend, to pitch a tent with me.

In parts 1, 2, & 3, we have already established the following:

• Marriage is God's idea.
• God created marriage.
• A wife is given in marriage (by God) to her husband as a "suitable" helper.

Today, as promised on Thursday, we're looking at suitable.

Webster's defines suitable as:

• similiar, alike in substance or essentials
• matching, equal
• proper, belonging to one
• able, having sufficient power, skill, resources
• qualified, fitted (as by training or experience) for a given purpose
• fit, to harmonize with

Hang with me here, so we could also say...

A wife is able, having the sufficient power, skill, and resources to help her husband. Being like him, one with him, and his equal, her training or experience, has given her the ability to harmonize with him. Wow, there's alot to unpack in suitable? My favorite part is the end. Did you catch it?

A wife is given as a "suitable" helper to her husband for what purpose?

... To harmonize with him.

Aaaahhhh, this "suitable" helper thing is sounding better, and better, isn't it?

We'll pick up here (on the harmony) on Monday, hope you'll join me...

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 3

In Parts 1 & 2, we have already established:

• Marriage was (and is!) God's idea. Gen 2:18
• Marriage was (and is!) good. Gen 2:18
• God did (and does!) give the wife to be a helper suitable for her own husband. Gen 2:22

As I write these words, I am certain there will be women who will read them with smoke coming out of their ears! How can I be so sure? Because, I am a woman. And, also a wife.

At the risk of raising our "I am woman" blood pressure even higher, may I suggest... the reason we are offended is because we don't understand. Or (dare I say) because we don't trust the heart of our Creator, the Creator of marriage?

It's easy to become offended by a God we do not trust.

It's impossible to trust God's heart without taking off our lenses that have become bent, banged, and broken, by the lies of this world.

So... Putting on new lenses of faith, let's look at what God says about marriage.

• Does God say, a woman is less valuable than a man? Absolutely, not!
• Does God say, a woman is different than a man? Absolutely!

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Gen 1:27

Man (male and female) was created by God, in God's image. Yes both, husbands and wives, are equally valuable, and equally loved.

On Thursday, we will continue to take off our tarnished lenses, as we look more closely at "suitable" helper. Join me then...