Guest Writer ~ "God's Red-Hot Gift!" Part 2

My friend, and guest writer, Carol continues to show us there is much to say about sex. And (perhaps) much we have not heard... Do you see yourself as a sensuous, sexual, AND GODLY woman? Perhaps you did not think it was “okay” to be sensuous? Or maybe you thought you could not be sensuous AND godly at the same time.

Probably most would agree sex is a gift from God. But how many give themselves permission to actually revel in the sensuous pleasures of married love? Perhaps in your mind the two do not go together. If you polled a group of women gathered for a Bible study, and ask them to describe a godly woman, you would probably hear things like, “A godly woman is submissive.” or “A godly woman fears the Lord.” or “A godly woman looks like the Proverbs 31 woman.”

They are all good answers, but the list is not complete unless you include “A godly woman delights in physical intimacy with her husband.” We are spiritual and sexual beings. And the union of these two is very powerful in Song of Solomon.

(The following is taken from Intimate Issues, written by Lorraine Pintus and Linda Dillow.)

“In the middle of Solomon and…Shulamith’s steamy, sensuous lovemaking, a third Person enters the room. Tenderly the Almighty Creator looks down on the two engaged in physical pleasure and says, “Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.”

God was there. And He urged them to feast and drink abundantly of the pleasure He had created for them. Maybe you're saying, ‘I can give myself permission to go deeper in my sexuality because I see that this is part of who God created me to be. But I don’t know how that translates practically. What does a godly sensuous woman look like?’” Solomon’s bride gives us a wonderful glimpse at that very thing.

We will further study our "sensuous wife" example from God's Word on Monday. See you then.

Guest Writer ~ "God's Red-Hot Gift!" Part 1

My friend Carol is passionate that women walk in the truth of God's Word, and she doesn't pull any punches when sharing it. I invite you to have "ears to hear" what God has to say on this hot topic. Caution, it may be a little different than what your momma taught you...


God’s Red-Hot Gift is SEX, of course! But I am sure you knew that by the title, right?

When was the last time you stopped and thought about this incredible invention of God’s, and that He created it strictly for us to enjoy and take pleasure in? God has declared that His “Red-Hot Gift” of sex in the covenant of marriage was designed to bring us abandoned pleasure and intimate oneness with our husbands. Further still, to enjoy it using THE MANUAL on SEX, the Bible, will lead us to a sexual experience that is totally satisfying and downright awesome! When it comes to God’s advice about sex, I would say the Bible is hot!

Song of Solomon is a beautiful book in the Bible that describes King Solomon’s courtship, wedding, and early years of marriage to Shulamith. And it is graphic! And the treasures in this story are worth digging for. Shulamith is a biblical example of a sensuous AND godly wife. Often during the book, she pulls out a treasured memory of moments spent with Solomon and she relives it. She thinks about him, her lover, in very sensuous ways. Listen to these beautiful words of hers from Song of Solomon 5:10-16.

My dear lover glows with health—
red-blooded, radiant!
He's one in a million.
There's no one quite like him!
My golden one, pure and untarnished,
with raven black curls tumbling across his shoulders.
His eyes are like doves, soft and bright,
but deep-set, brimming with meaning, like wells of water.
His face is rugged, his beard smells like sage,
His voice, his words, warm and reassuring.
Fine muscles ripple beneath his skin,
quiet and beautiful.
His torso is the work of a sculptor,
hard and smooth as ivory.
He stands tall, like a cedar,
strong and deep-rooted,
A rugged mountain of a man,
aromatic with wood and stone.
His words are kisses, his kisses words.
Everything about him delights me, thrills me
through and through!
That's my lover, that's my man,
dear Jerusalem sisters.

WHOA! Did Scripture just let us eavesdrop on Shulamith fantasizing about her husband? YEP! God is not only giving you and me permission to dwell on our husbands in this way, He is encouraging it.

If you are brave enough, join me again on Thursday as we look closer at Shulamith, and what we can take away from God’s manual on sex, THE BIBLE!

Top 10 Ways to "Do Good" to Your Husband

Number 10 ~ Ask him! ... "What can I do to help lighten your load today?" Or, "Can you think of anything I can do that would be helpful to you today?"


Number 9 ~ Speak well of him. (To him, and to others)


Number 8 ~ Live (and dream) within your budget. : )


Number 7 ~ Manage your home well, and to your husband's liking.


Number 6 ~ Respect him. (And model that respect to your children)


Number 5 ~ Make time for him.


Number 4 ~ Be his friend.


Number 3 ~ Join him in his "play" (golf, tennis, fishing, hiking...)


Number 2 ~ PRAY FOR HIM!!!


Number 1 ~ Enjoy him! And allow him to enjoy you! (Be his lover)


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Check back on Monday for a closer look at Number 1. : )

Excellence as a Wife?

There are few things in the world that I feel less qualified to speak about than being an excellent wife. It sounds easy enough - - An excellent wife is one who "does good" and "not harm" to her husband. (Prov 31:10-12) Perhaps one of the reasons we miss the mark of excellence is when we forget...

Just in case you have forgotten, men and women are different. And to make it even more personal, you and your husband are very different.

Now before you spout off a list of "you don't know the half of it!" May I say, if you and your husband were not different one of you would be unnecessary. Yep, most likely, the difference that now makes you crazy about your guy is what you found most attractive in him when you were dating.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

So, you could say one of the ways we "do harm" to our husbands is when we fail to remember we were created to be divinely different.

Join me on Thursday, for the Top 10 Ways to "Do Good" to Your Husband...

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 6

Following Monday's exercise (see part 5) I have little doubt you have a new sensitivity to the power of your words. After the initial shock, and when he got up off the floor, I imagine your hubby is pleased you did your homework.

As we have already established, it is NOT our job to change our husband. That role is already taken. Our role is to be his wife.

We gain valuable insight into excellence in that role in the book of Proverbs...

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.


In the above passage (Proverbs 31:10 - 12) we see:

• An excellent wife is a treasure to her husband.
  
• He trusts her.
  
• He knows she helps him.
  

An excellent wife is trusted by her husband because...
she does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.

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Add (at least) 1 thing to the list (see part 5) of things you appreciate about your husband, and continue to communicate them to him, verbally or in writing.

Check back on Monday for more ways a wife can "do good and not evil" to her husband.

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 5

In Part 4, we established... A wife is able, having the sufficient power, skill, and resources to help her husband. Being like him, her training or experiences, have given her the ability to harmonize with him. A funny illustration comes to mind...

One sunny afternoon, a mayor and his wife were taking a stroll down the main street of their city, while he proudly pointed out his accomplishments during his time in office. Then they walked by a construction site and a man called out and greeted his wife. He had been a high school boyfriend.
The mayor said to his wife, “See, dear, if you had married him, you would be a wife of a laborer.”
She answered sweetly, “If I had married him, he would be the mayor.”

The wife in this story understood the power of her influence on her husband. But before we get too puffed up girls, that influence cuts both ways. Just as sure as a wife has the power to be a help to her husband, she also has the power to be a hindrance to him.

Are you being a help? Or are you being a hindrance?

Ruth Graham said, "It is not up to me to change my husband, that is up to God. My job is to keep him happy."

One of the ways you can keep your hubby happy is by respecting him.

Make a list of (at least) 5 things you appreciate about your husband. And then begin telling him, verbally or in writing.

• Verbal and written words of encouragement: “You handled that wisely,” “I love being married to you.”
• Compliment the little things he does - in front of others and privately. Mark Twain said, “I can live two months on a good compliment.”
• Remind him of his strengths and accomplishments.
  

Begin with these. Then check back on Thursday, when we will examine other ways we can use our influence to help our husbands ... see you then.

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 4

A friend recently asked me how many more parts there were in this series on marriage. Maybe you, like she, are wondering the same. I don't know what number we'll end up with but, I know this - I'm setting up camp here and I invite you, like my friend, to pitch a tent with me.

In parts 1, 2, & 3, we have already established the following:

• Marriage is God's idea.
• God created marriage.
• A wife is given in marriage (by God) to her husband as a "suitable" helper.

Today, as promised on Thursday, we're looking at suitable.

Webster's defines suitable as:

• similiar, alike in substance or essentials
• matching, equal
• proper, belonging to one
• able, having sufficient power, skill, resources
• qualified, fitted (as by training or experience) for a given purpose
• fit, to harmonize with

Hang with me here, so we could also say...

A wife is able, having the sufficient power, skill, and resources to help her husband. Being like him, one with him, and his equal, her training or experience, has given her the ability to harmonize with him. Wow, there's alot to unpack in suitable? My favorite part is the end. Did you catch it?

A wife is given as a "suitable" helper to her husband for what purpose?

... To harmonize with him.

Aaaahhhh, this "suitable" helper thing is sounding better, and better, isn't it?

We'll pick up here (on the harmony) on Monday, hope you'll join me...

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 3

In Parts 1 & 2, we have already established:

• Marriage was (and is!) God's idea. Gen 2:18
• Marriage was (and is!) good. Gen 2:18
• God did (and does!) give the wife to be a helper suitable for her own husband. Gen 2:22

As I write these words, I am certain there will be women who will read them with smoke coming out of their ears! How can I be so sure? Because, I am a woman. And, also a wife.

At the risk of raising our "I am woman" blood pressure even higher, may I suggest... the reason we are offended is because we don't understand. Or (dare I say) because we don't trust the heart of our Creator, the Creator of marriage?

It's easy to become offended by a God we do not trust.

It's impossible to trust God's heart without taking off our lenses that have become bent, banged, and broken, by the lies of this world.

So... Putting on new lenses of faith, let's look at what God says about marriage.

• Does God say, a woman is less valuable than a man? Absolutely, not!
• Does God say, a woman is different than a man? Absolutely!

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Gen 1:27

Man (male and female) was created by God, in God's image. Yes both, husbands and wives, are equally valuable, and equally loved.

On Thursday, we will continue to take off our tarnished lenses, as we look more closely at "suitable" helper. Join me then...

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 2

Taking our eyes off of divorce, and setting our hearts on marriage requires an understanding of marriage. In part 1, we established - Marriage was (and is!) God's idea. Gen 2:18

Today, we will look at the "Why?" of God's idea.

Looking at Gen 2:18 for our answer... The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

From the text... Why marriage?

Because it was (and is!) good.

Why is it good?

The man, no longer alone, will have a suitable helper.

Whether you like it, or not... Your primary role (as a wife) is to be a helper suitable for your own husband. And it is good.

Whether you believe it, or not... You (as a wife) have been fashioned and are equipped to be a helper suitable for your own husband. And it is good.

You are the jelly on his PB & J. The butter on his bread. Don't laugh, it's true.

On Monday, we will continue to look at the beauty of "We" from combining He and She.