Regaining Proper Balance - Part 3

I promised you an answer and an answer is what you're gonna get .... over the long haul, the only way to stay in balance is to maintain the balance. Regaining (and keeping) the proper balance will require diligence. Determination, hard work, and maintenance!

Yes, regular maintenance. How often is regular? You will determine ... quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily? But regular maintenance is what's gonna keep you out of the ER (so to speak) and trucking along in balance.

If you're married:

• begin by discussing the areas which may need adjustment with your husband. Ask his thoughts on where you may need to "turn up" or "turn down" the intensity.
• pray together.
• be willing to adjust the balance according to the needs of your family as it grows/changes.

If you're single:

• consider discussing the areas which may need adjustment with a trusted friend. Ask for their thoughts on where you may need to "turn up" or "turn down" the intensity.
• ask them to pray with you as you seek proper balance.
• be willing to adjust the balance as your season of life changes.
  

Whether married or single, do NOT neglect that which is most necessary ... Prayer. Your husband or your trusted friend may know you better than any human on the face of the earth, and may love you enough to tell you the truth but ... God is truth.

He knows what was, what is, and what is to come. Ask boldly and in faith for the One Who Sees to help you plan ahead for what you can not see.

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Join me tomorrow for more ... : )

Regaining Proper Balance - Part 2

Once you have tracked and color-coded your calendar for about a month, you should be able to see which area may be in need of an adjustment. Keep in mind, your colors will not be even. Most of us have one area (color) that will be predominant but the other areas (colors) must be part of the mix. For example: If you're calendar is nearly (or completely) void of ...

• red (marriage) ... you may be feeling more like a room-mate than a wife these days. :)


• pink (home/parenting) ... you may have no clean towels, an empty frig, and hungry kids. : )


• green (work) ... you are probably fighting a losing battle with your desk, inbox, or project load. : )


• blue (leisure) ... you may be saying things like, "welcome to my world!" instead of showing compassion. : )


• yellow (worship/quiet time) ... you may not even remember how to show compassion. : )


• purple (ministry) ... you may have lost all desire to show compassion. : )

Once you have identified which areas may need to be adjusted in intensity ... If your like me, your natural response will be to turn all your attention to the area most neglected. Although this may be necessary from time to time, and a good short term fix ... it is NOT the most effective long term practice.

What is?

Join me tomorrow for more ...

Moving On Monday - Regaining Proper Balance

As promised on Saturday ... (see "Sat(her)day" Reflection) ... today, we will look at some of the "yes, but how" on regaining proper balance. Let me first clarify we are speaking of "good" things here. If you are unsure if it is a "good" thing? Philippians 4:8 it ...

... whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute ...

If it's not a "good" thing you don't need to lessen the intensity ... you need to throw it out!

That said, how can we identify which "good" thing(s) in our lives may need to be adjusted?

• Look at your calendar. If you are not keeping one ... start today!
• Pull out your highlighters. Give each "good" thing that occupies your time a color. For example, work could be green, home/parenting could be pink, leisure could be blue, marriage could be red, worship/time with God could be yellow, and ministry could be purple.

Why did I list marriage, worship/time with God, and ministry last? Because (unfortunately) these areas sometimes simply get whatever is left. Sad, but true.

If you have been keeping a calendar go back and color the last month of activity. If you are going to begin (again) the discipline of keeping a calendar ... color them as you go.

This exercise should prove highly effective in helping to identify which areas may need a balance adjustment.

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Join me tomorrow for more ... : )

"Sat(her)day" Reflection

My "Sat(her)day" time was nothing fancy today ya'll but ... oh, so good! And oh ... so necessary!

In closing yesterday (see "The Balance Battle"), I suggested we identify areas (extremes) in our lives that need to be lessened in intensity. So, resisting the urge to go ice-skating, I stayed home and did just that. : )

You may be wondering if ice-skating is really an area that needs to be lessened in intensity in my life. Right now, it most certainly could get out of control. But there have been (and will be again) other leisure activities I enjoy like ... reading, swimming, cooking, gardening, and riding roller coasters that have required a lessening in intensity to regain proper balance.

There are also the areas of work and study that can consume us. Even as a wife, mom, or grandma there will be times it is necessary to adjust the intensity to regain balance.

And I have saved the most dangerous for last ... dare I say ... our ministries. This one is tough because it is so difficult to consider this area may be in need of a lessening in intensity. But hear me when I say, ministry can become an extreme, and it will ... if left unchecked.

All of these things are good. All of these things are for our good. But all of these things will clean our clock if we don't keep the proper balance.

Today, on this rainy day in September, I spent my "Sat(her)day" in reflection.

Identifying the "good" things needing to be lessened in intensity to regain balance.

I invite you to do likewise.

Still wondering ... yes, but how? Join me on Monday for more.

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"Sat(her)day" can be done on any day of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women of our need to be nurtured so we do not grow weary of being a nurturer.

The Balance Battle

I am absolutely convinced ... balance will be a LIFE LONG struggle for me! Seriously, EVEN in my quest to regain balance ... I can get out of balance!

You would think, knowing my propensity toward extremes and the number of times I have had to adjust my behavior to regain balance, I would no longer be surprised ... : ) Anyone relating with me here? Maybe just a bit???

The secret's out ... I am a woman of extremes. You know, the girl who is either ALL IN or ALL OUT! This is not necessarily a bad thing ... my hubby has never once complained during one of my cooking extremes. He has (however) reminded me of my need for balance when I am in one of my no-cooking extremes. : )

And so we are back to that ... balance.

The need to modify our behavior to regain balance.

The need for moderation.

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Moderation : Webster's defines it this way ...

To lessen the intensity of extremes.

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Are you out of balance?

If so ... your behavior needs to be modified.

Begin by asking, in what area (extreme) do you need to lessen the intensity?

"Wounds of a Friend"

As I confessed on Monday my life would be a little less stressed if I had taken advantage of the "heads-up" I received in July. (See: "Movin' On Monday" - Its easier to "be ready" than to try to get ready!)

You may be saying ... "Come on, Patty. Do you really believe the God of the Universe cares about your weight?" Yes ma'am, I absolutely do. But much more than my need to drop a few pounds ... He cares about my deepest need - - - to KNOW Him.

I love how He delights in showing Himself faithful to us in ways so unique and personal that WE CAN NOT MISS HIM!

Well ... lets just say ... He has my attention!

And this I know ~ ~ faithful are the wounds of a TRUE friend.

The only acceptable answer (even when our feelings are hurt) is, "Yes, Lord"
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Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6

"Moving On Monday" - It is easier to be ready than to try to get ready!

Somewhere between my "swings & hindu pushups" this morning, a conversation I had with a friend in late July came back to my memory ... I had just returned from "SheSpeaks," a women's conference for speakers, writers, and teachers when I confided in my friend there were two main take-aways for me from the conference ... 1) to lose some weight. 2) to respect my husband.

No, that was NOT the topic of the conference. What woman would attend a conference on that topic?!? No, this little baby was just for me ... It was a message I was getting in private, loud and clear. And I was none too happy about it. To which my dear friend and ministry partner replied, "Now, that's blog-able!"

Easy for her to say! There was NO WAY I was going to blog about God taking me to "SheSpeaks" to tell me I needed to drop some pounds! Some things are just plain private. Right? Obviously not. : )

Today, I am laughing. And I am in complete agreement with my friend that this is in fact ... "blog-able!"

There was no way for me to know in late July that today I would be preparing for a trip. A trip my husband and I have been dreaming of for 15 years! A trip that I would have only 5 weeks to prepare for!!! But God did. : )

If I had only listened to Him in July, I wouldn't be stressing out today over things like ...

Just how many days can a girl go without food anyway?

And

How many "swings" & "hindu pushups" will it take to not giggle?


Needless to say, the message I received in July is a little easier to accept knowing what I know today. And may I add, I have a new take-away ... It is much easier to "be ready" than to try to hurry up and get ready. :)

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Has God given you a message (in private) you were not expecting?

Something you are none too happy about?

You have a choice friend ...

you can listen to God and "be ready"

or you can continue to be offended by the message and do nothing

Either way, what is coming WILL come.

And (take it from one who knows) it is MUCH easier to "be ready" than to try to get ready.

Sat(her)day - Preparation

Today, my "Sat(her)day" experience was a celebratory time of preparation.

Allow me to explain ... My husband and I have been dreaming of a romantic get-a-way for 15 years! A trip for two ... to paradise. Unfortunately, every time we have planned our trip, we have allowed the pressures of life (fear) to redirect our paths.

This past week, we determined to begin taking the steps necessary to bring our dream to fruition ... its been a FUN week of preparation.

Today, during my "Sat(her)day" time, I am celebrating what is yet to come ... : )

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What is your dream?

Have you allowed the pressures of life (or fear) to redirect your path?

Have you made the preparations necessary to bring your dream to fruition?

Take your dream, your fears, and your priorities ... to God.

Allow Him (and only Him) to redirect your path.

Blessings to you as you continue to DREAM! : )

Sat(her)day - Drive

This has been a week of extremes.

Extreme highs like, a wedding celebration, a speaking engagement, the start of a new session of Bible study, and some precious time with a young friend while his parents were away.

And extreme lows like, heart-breaking stories of divorce, unwed pregnancy, custody battles, terminal illness, job-loss, financial struggles, and drug addiction.

Yes, it has been a week of extremes.

Extreme weeks call for extreme measures! So for my "Sat(her)day" time today, I put on my favorite convertible ball cap, put the top down, and was off for a mid-day afternoon wind-down ... drive!

First stop - my favorite "drive-thru" for a strawberry mango freeze. Then on to my favorite driving stretch by the lake. Sipping on my freeze, singing along with my favorite CD, while driving alongside the lake ... I spent my "Sat(her)day!" And it was good. : )

"Where Were You" Part 2

Scared is a gross understatement (see part 1) - I was terrified! And I was not alone... Even the high paid and "prepared for anything" network TV news people were unable to mask their fear. The disbelief in their eyes, and their white-washed faces proved there are things so horrific, so incomprehensibly evil, no one can fully prepare. We were eye-witnesses of this evil on 9.11.01, and many (including myself) were shaken to the very core of their belief ... In an instant, everything changed.


In the midst of the chaos, I was compelled to locate my family. After hearing their voices, and having the assurance of their present safety, we were able to discuss a plan of action in the event the attack came closer to our home. Then overwhelmed by emotion, and unable to watch as the graphic images were being replayed over and over again, I turned off the TV. As I sat alone in silence in my living room, I realized I had not been "here" before. This was a "new" experience. This was a new crisis of belief. And this crisis, like any crisis of belief, required a decision. There was a call to action, no time to stand still. I could either run away in fear or I could run to my God with my fear. I am happy to say, by the grace of God, I ran to Him with my fear.

I ran to Him with my disbelief.
I ran to Him with my fear.
I ran to Him with my anger.
I ran to Him because I knew there was nowhere else to run.
And that is why I am forever changed.

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Are you scared?

Are you angry?

Are you rocked to the very core of everything you have ever believed?

You, my friend, are in crisis.

A crisis of belief.

You have one of two choices:

1. Run away in fear.
2. Run to the One who can take away your fear.

His name is Jesus, and He is faithful.

He is the ONLY One who is able to take away your fear.

"Where Were You?"

The "where were you" question of our generation is, "Where were you on 9-11?"

... I was at home. I heard the first report while I was dressing for work. I literally fell into a chair as I watched the gut wrenching moments unfold LIVE on the morning news. I never made it to work that day. Like millions of Americans, my priorities suddenly changed. My agenda didn't seem too important anymore. I was glued to the TV.

The images of that day are forever burned into my memory. Images of things I never dreamed were possible on American soil. The America on TV didn't even look like America! It was not the America that I had known. This was "news" all right. It was a new day, a new time, and a new America. And things were not looking good! Things would never be the same. I was scared.

Join me tomorrow for more ...

Protection from Growing Weary

How do you love the unlovely? ... unto the Lord.

Ministry is messy, often misunderstood, rarely appreciated, and will take the wind right out of your sail if you try to do it unto men. So... how do you protect yourself from growing weary????

By (honestly) examining your service.

Is it ... unto men?

or

Is it ... unto the Lord?

9:09 on 09/09/09!

I actually heard an announcement on network TV earlier, "The time is now 9:09, on 09/09/09!" I kid you not, NETWORK TV and the BIG morning news was the date and the time. I couldn't help but chuckle. : )

I began to think ... the date is pretty cool but is it "news" worthy???

That's when it struck me ... (for me) it ABSOLUTELY is!

You see, today is a day of reconciliation.

A day of (long awaited) answered prayer.

A day of new grace.

Yes, today is GRACE day!

Today, I am reconciled with a young woman who was once as close as a daughter. And I have the pleasure of helping to make her wedding day BEAUTIFUL! Today, is quite "news" worthy to me. Today, in my heart, will always be "GRACE" day!
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Are you in need of grace? Are you praying for reconciliation with someone you love? Are you weary of waiting for an answer? Don't give up friend ... "GRACE" day is worth the wait.

SonDay, Sunday - God Can Do Anything! Just ask a 3rd Grader...

Every Sunday, I have the privilege of teaching a wonderful group of 8 & 9 year old boys and girls. I am the teacher and also a student. Here's what I learned in 3rd grade today ...

We spent the bulk of our time looking at Luke 1:37. One translation read: Nothing will be impossible with God. Another read: God can do anything. I had a blast (and it was a perfect fit for my sanquine personality) discussing just how big God is!

We also spent some time looking at our differences and similarities. As the students paired up with a classmate they made a list of some of the ways they were different and similiar. We spent some time celebrating the unique way God had designed each one of them.

In our closing time together, the students were given a note card, an envelope, and an opportunity. On the note card (if they chose to do so) they were to write their most prominent ability, talent, or passion. Then place the card in the envelope, seal it, and write - - To: God, From: Their Name

This was when it really got good ... with great excitement and enthusiasm, these precious children did it! Never have I seen such a VIVID display of faith! These kids truly believed God had given them their abilities, talents, and passions for a specific purpose. And they were anxious to give them back to God to use however He chose to do so. WHAT GREAT FAITH!

How I know my Jesus smiled on their faith today. I sure did. : )

This is what I learned in 3rd grade Sunday School today ... we "big" people sure can learn a lot about faith from "little" people.
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Without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

Sat(her)day K.I.S.S

Following my confession yesterday (see "God is Faithful ... but are His people) my Sat(her)day plan for today is to : "Keep It Simple, Silly!" And so far its going great ...

No alarm was set.

No morning agenda.

No expectations of a well-executed plan.

Just a good old-fashioned sleep in, boy was it good!

I slept better than a baby. I slept like a woman who had fresh perspective of the peace that follows giving up the right to do things "her" way.

Today, I choose to enjoy a "Sat(her)day K.I.S.S. by keeping it simple, silly.

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What is your struggle?

What is wearing you out?

Give up the fight .... and choose to "Keep It Simple, Silly!"

Enjoy the peace that follows ... : )

God is Faithful ... but are His people?

If the above title steps on your toes ... Come on in! Because you (friend) are not here by chance. You have probably heard it said, "we are exhausted not by the things we do but by the things we have left undone." Today, with a new spring in my step, I know it to be true! Allow me to explain ...

A couple of months ago, my husband and I learned our very dear friends had been robbed. It happened shortly after moving away from the comfort and security of friends, and a church family that ABSOLUTELY ADORED THEM, to go to a new city. A city where they were beginning a new church. By the time we heard the news, the stolen property had already been replaced by the insurance company. Loving our friends, we (JOYFULLY!) offered to reimburse their out-of-pocket expenses incurred by the deductible. Our friends were encouraged and so were we! It was a win-win ... until, we paused.

That VERY DAY we sat down to write the check and mail it. Then we started thinking how much fun it would be to give it in person. You see, we had already planned to visit them later that month. Cash, in person, beats a stinky old check in the mail every time... Right? So, it was settled. It was a good plan and we were excited.

However, as plans often do, our plan changed. A series of unexpected circumstances caused us to reschedule. More unexpected circumstances made it necessary to reschedule again. Still more unexpected circumstances ... and delay, delay, delay!

It wasn't long before the gift we so JOYFULLY and ANXIOUSLY wanted to give had become BURDENSOME and STALLED. I was exhausted, exhausted by the plan. Exhausted at the thought of executing the plan. WE NEEDED A NEW PLAN ...

Yesterday, when we could take it no more - - an apology and a check were written, and placed in the mail. Visiting our friends in person is still a good plan, and I will not give up until I get there ... But a "timely" stinky, old check in the mail was the best plan from day one! Trying to execute the wrong plan will FLAT wear you out .... EVERY TIME!
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What have you been "putting off" until you can do it your way? Maybe its time for a new plan.

I have LEARNED to be content ...

If I am completely honest with you, and myself, I knew LONG BEFORE I was willing to accept it that God was calling me into a public ministry. And even now, I struggle with "putting myself out there" when I speak, teach, and write. By nature, I am probably the MOST private person on the face of the earth! Which, to say the least, makes my job a bit challenging. The mere thought of hitting "post" on some days sends waves of nausea over me. Yes transparency, especially in written form, makes me want to change my name, change my hair color, and run to a new city? Monday was no exception. (See Chick-Fil-A, part 2)

When my head hit the pillow, my mind was flooded with thoughts like:

• How could you be so silly?
• Why would you need to be reminded something so basic?
• How old are you?
• What are people gonna think?
• You big dummy!
• Why would you admit it in writing?

Totally exhausted by my thoughts ... I closed my eyes, and prayed.

The verse that calmed my heart and mind was a familiar one ... I have LEARNED to be content.

You may remember this verse is spoken by Paul and is right before one of the most quoted verses in the Bible. ... I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Isn't it good to be reminded we have to LEARN to be content.

And we (just like Paul) will learn to be content, over and over again, as we walk through new circumstances.

How?

By walking in the strength Christ gives us for each "new" circumstance.

These are certainly "new" times in which we live today in America, and in our world.

We are seeing, and experiencing things we have never seen in America.

Many of us are facing financial struggles we are not prepared for.

Most of us have become very aware this is a new day, and a new time.

Take heart in knowing ... this is an opportunity to LEARN to be content in a "new" circumstance.
And whatever "new" God brings you, you can rest in knowing He IS able!

Stand firm in faith and you (like Paul) will be able to say ...

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philipians 4:12,13

Blessings to you as you continue the journey of LEARNING to be content. : )