"Sat(her)day" - Surviving the most wonderful time of the year!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!


With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's the most wonderful time of the year


It's the hap-happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap-happiest season of all


There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago
It's the most wonderful time of the year


There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near
It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time
It's the most wonderful time .... of the year!


The above lyrics are from one of the most popular Christmas songs ever. If you haven't heard it yet this season, you will! One of the reasons it is so popular is because it lists many of the traditions we fondly associate with Christmas season. Family traditions are blessings, and should be enjoyed at Christmas. But .... If we're not careful, these very same blessings can end up wearing us out at Christmas.

Because I speak from experience in this area of distraction, I MADE MYSELF "be still" this morning and honestly evaluated my expectations for the holiday season. This is how I spent my "Sat(her)day" morning ... and it was good. : )
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

"Sat(her)day" - - Whiter Than Snow

We don't get a whole lot of snow (especially in December) in these here hills. So ... when it happens, it's a pretty big deal! It happened today. (grin)

Growing up in Florida (where we never saw snow!) I guess I am EVEN MORE captivated by the snow than the natives of East Tennessee. I couldn't take my eyes off of the "white stuff" falling from heaven this morning. What amazes me most about snow is the transformation. The familiar scenary outside my home was different ...

Everything was .... covered.

Everything was .... white.

Everything was .... clean.

Everything was .... different.

I was reminded of the illustration in Psalm 51. This was when David confessed his sin (of 1 year) and cried out for God to restore the joy of his salvation. In the 7th verse, David compared his cleansing process (returning to a right heart before God) to the whiteness of snow.

Purify me from my sins .... and I will be whiter than snow. Psalm 51:7 NLT

As I spent my "Sat(her)day" time in the snow this morning, I was encouraged by David's example. As a man after God's own heart, David knew God's grace. David knew that it was never too late to run to God and ask for forgiveness. David knew the only way to restore the joy of his salvation was to confess his sin. And David knew God is faithful and will honor that request.

May we follow David's example and be women after God's own heart by running to Him with our sins. And desiring He restore the joy of our salvation by cleansing our hearts whiter than snow.
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

"Sat(her)day" Snooze Button. : )

My hubby, and countless others I know, actually plan for the extra 10, 20, or 30 minutes of "snooze" time before they get up. Not me! Seems a bit silly to trade "true" sleep for "snooze" sleep. The wake up, snooze, wake up, snooze concept is (frankly) a bit annoying to me.

But I do appreciate a good snooze. This morning was one of those wonderful occasions.

Following a week of getting up every day before dawn to cook feasts and treats for my little family and my HUGE extended family --- I needed a snooze this morning. (grin)

You will not find my "snooze" button on the alarm clock by my bed. Nope, it's on the jet button on the jacuzzi. To each his own ... nothing resets the stress of the fullness of a week like "the snooze" button. : )

What is your "snooze" button?

How long has it been since you pushed it?

During the fullness of the holiday season ... don't forget to hit the "snooze" button occasionally.
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

Give Thanks

Psalm 100 - A Psalm for Thanksgiving.

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth.

Serve the LORD with gladness;

Come before Him with joyful singing.

Know that the LORD Himself is God;

It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;

We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving

And His courts with praise

Give thanks to Him, bless His name.

For the LORD is good;

His lovingkindness is everlasting

And His faithfulness to all generations.

"Sat(her)day" - Celebrating A Sweet Traditon

It has become one of my sweetest holiday traditions ....

The Saturday before Thanksgiving is a time the women of my church have set aside for celebration and anticipation of the upcoming Christmas season. Approximately 200 women gathered together today to laugh, share ideas, eat, praise God, and exhort one-another to keep our focus on Christ this Christmas.

I walked away refreshed by spending time with girlfriends. Inspired by new ideas for making Christmas memories. And encouraged by examples of how to keep from being distracted by the busy-ness that makes Christmas feel heavy.

My main take-aways from today were:

1) Keep your Martha in check. Your family & friends would much rather have you than a stressed out perfectionist stuck in the kitchen ALL day. : )

2) You are the gift. Imagine yourself with a big bow tied on top of your head. Through your countenance, your presence, and your attitude be a blessing. Smile, show kindness, and speak encouragement to everyone who crosses your path this holiday season.

3) This one is for us married gals. ~~~ Keep the SIZZLE. Kiss for 5 seconds! (My hubby liked this one - grin) It may sound silly, it did to me too. But with the extra activities and excitement that accompany the holidays, it's easy to get into the "quick peck" mode. The "quick peck" mode is when you're running in two different directions and are "pecking" at each other as you run out the door. Try the 5 second kiss. Count it (One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three... ) by one thousand five .... it's a sizzle. And a sizzle beats a peck EVERY time. : )

From one (easily distracted) girl to another ... Keep the focus and ENJOY the holiday season.
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

"Sat(her)day" on Wednesday????

I've always said, "Sat(her)day" may be done on ANY day of the week.
Today, I am living it out...

Still "heavy" from the emotional roller coaster I've been riding over the past week it would have been REALLY EASY to pull the covers up over my head and stay in bed. I am thankful I have a friend who gave me reason (and accountablity) NOT to do that this morning.

The hour was early.

The weather cold and wet.

The traffic was insane!

But the company, conversation, and "girlfriend" time were well worth the effort. Funny how simply sharing a cup of coffee (for her) and tea (for me) would give me the strength to face my day with a spring in my step. (smile)

Sometimes life can become so "heavy" we might be tempted to withdraw. In those times, we are blessed by friends who will not let us. : )

Proverbs 27:17 speaks of the power friendship has in changing our countenance.

I spent my better late than never "Sat(her)day" on a Wednesday having my countenance "sharpened" by a friend. And it was good!
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

What Could Have Been - Part 2

The service was simple .... but powerful.

The pastor began by reading my uncle Danny's obituary.

... just a few words which had been chosen by his family to represent (in print) his contribution and his impact during his 62 years of life.

And then the pastor began to share (from the fullness of his own heart) the transformation he had witnessed in my uncle Danny during his final days on earth.

There was a change. A dramatic change. A change in my uncle's heart and mind.

What was the change? His surrender to Christ.

My uncle Danny first met Jesus when he was a child but he didn't bow his knee to Him until just a few short days before he died.

There wasn't a dry eye in the chapel as we listened to the pastor describe the change that had occurred in my uncle Danny's life.

The JOY.

The CONTENTMENT.

The PEACE.

The LOVE.

The change that occurs when we surrender ourselves to the LOVE of Christ.

I just can not tell you how happy I am that my uncle Danny experienced the fullness of Christ's Love in his final days on earth. But I know my uncle Danny would want you to know ....

Our time on earth is short. The Bible describes it as a vapor. It goes quickly!

We have no promise of tomorrow.

We are told ... TODAY is the day of salvation.

Today, if you hear His voice DO NOT HARDEN YOUR HEART.

And we are promised .... ALL that call upon the name of the Lord will be saved.

Have you called upon the name of the Lord.

Have you been changed by His Love and His Grace?

What Could Have Been

I am writing these words with a heavy heart. For days, even weeks now, I have been burdened to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and write about the cost, and the consequences of sin.

I didn't think it would be today, and I didn't think I would be opening the subject in this way but ... I received news this morning of the death of someone I dearly love. My uncle Danny.

My uncle Danny was so handsome. He looked a lot like Elvis, but in Elvis' good-looking days. : )

My uncle Danny was so funny. He had an infectious laugh, and an irresistible personality.

My uncle Danny was so smart. Next to my daddy, my uncle Danny was the smartest man in the world!

My uncle Danny had a passion for life. Even a simple dinner was a celebration for my uncle Danny. How I miss the way he would make "ummm, ummmm good" sounds at our dinner table.

And my uncle Danny always had time for me. One on one time. Like a game of chess, or a knock-knock joke marathon.

That's how I remember my uncle Danny. Sweet memories of my favorite uncle. A man who had everything. Unfortunately, those memories are from many, many years ago.

Childhood memories of before ....

Before what?

Before the decision he made which altered his life forever. The sin that stole his future.

Today, I am grieving the loss of my uncle Danny. But more than that, today the scab has been ripped off the wounds from many years ago. The wounds of the cost and consequences of sin. The deepest wound .... of what could have been.

My uncle Danny's sin did not cost him his life but it was costly ...

A bullet to the head cost him his brilliant mind, his infectious personality, and his striking good looks. After he recovered from the head injury, he spent many years in prison paying for his crime.

Even as I write these words, I am second guessing my decision to put these words in print. But I know this ... my uncle Danny, the one I remember from my childhood, would want you to know SIN IS COSTLY!!!!

The Bible says sin is fun for a season. But .... at the end of the season you (and those who love you) WILL pay the cost.

"Sat(her)day" ~ A Time to Ponder

I had such high hopes for the past week. Key word here is had. My shattered high hopes pale in comparison though to the lessons (I've had time to ponder this week) which I learned on the island.

Lesson # 1 - It's not wise for someone (like me) who battles fall allergies to visit a paradise with no seasonal irritants (smile) and return home before the season is over! Yes, I believe my next trip to Jamaica will NOT be in the fall. If it is .... I will simply have to stay until winter. (BIG smile)

Lesson # 2 - How quickly our priorities change when we are forced to focus on our basic physical needs. During my time of inconvenience (minor discomfort associated with allergies & sinus) this week, I was reminded of the Jamaican culture and their simplistic approach to life. Because of their extreme poverty, their focus is simple ... providing food and shelter for their families.

Lesson # 3 - How insignificant many of the things which clutter my mind are and how they choke out my peace and contentment. Again I was reminded of the peace/joy/contentment I witnessed in the Jamaican culture.

Lesson # 4 - How fulfilling it is to return to a simplier way of thinking, of being, and of doing.

The following words were spoken by a young Jamaican man my hubby and I had opportunity to get to know a little bit on our trip. He said, "I study Americans. This is what I have observed, you Americans have everything but you live as if you have nothing. That's very sad."

My husband and I could only agree with his observation. Very sad, indeed. I pray I will never forget this young man or his observation of our culture. As an American, I pray I will never forget how blessed I am. As a Christian, I pray I will never forget that I do (in fact) have everything.
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

"Sat(her)day" Stuffed French Toast!

One of my absolute favorite things to do is to be creative in the kitchen. Unfortunately, most of the meals I make are of the "hold the creativity and get it on the table quickly, please" variety.

Yet .... my passion is making the "over the top" yummy Martha Stewart type of meals for my family. (You know the ones we "real" moms and grammas just don't have the time to make very often)

This morning, I chose to use my "Sat(her)day" time allowing the creativity to flow ....

What was the creation? Strawberry/Chocolate Chip/Stuffed French Toast. It was a WIN-WIN, slam dunk. I had a BLAST being creative in the kitchen. And my family stumbled into the kitchen all smiles when they awakened.

What do you enjoy doing? Maybe it is time for you to make a hole in your schedule to accomodate it. : )
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

Forgive me, I am slow in returning ... : )

No, there was not a problem with our travel plans. And no, there was not a problem with our return flight.

There is (however) a slight problem with my willingness to let go of my "island girl" mentality .... just yet. Can you blame me? Look at this picture of our final night!

For now, I will simply say .... God is faithful. And He delights in showing Himself to us in ways we can not even think or imagine.

"Sat(her)day" Day Dreaming

You may be a little confused by this post. No, I didn't cave in and bring my Blackberry or laptop with me. I simply wrote this "Sat(her)day" entry before I left and scheduled it (in advance) to post today. (See "Couples Retreat, How Sweet")

Because I planned my "Sat(her)day" time before I left for my trip, I gave considerable thought to what my greatest need might be by today. With that said .... I will spend some time today daydreaming about:

• how to bring this "island" mentality home with me & my hubby


• how to keep couple time alive amidst our hectic daily routines at home

When is the last time you spent some time daydreaming about your man?

Give it a try today. Fall is a great time to "fall in love" all over again.

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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

Couples Retreat, How Sweet.

A couple of months ago, my hubby and I were given a wonderfully unexpected and generous gift of an all expense paid trip to an exotic island. (Yes indeed, God is good!)

After many weeks of preparation, the time has come ...

in just a few hours, I will be acclimating to the mentality of an island girl. I'm laying down my Blackberry. And giving the laptop a break. : )

For the next 5 days, there is only one agenda. To romp around a beautiful island with my hunky hubby.

I know you will understand. (Wink)

See ya next week.

Sunday, (Son)day Reflection

Nearly every day I'm reminded there is no promise of tomorrow. In case you hadn't noticed .... People are dying every day.

Young people, old people, sick people, well people. People who travel, people who don't. People who work outside the home, people who work inside their home. People living on the edge, people who have never even seen the edge.

People just like you and me, are dying .... every single day.
No one is exempt.

Sure the older we get, most of us realize there's a bit less sand in our hour glass but ... no one knows for sure when he or she will give up their last breath on this earth.

This became very real for a friend of mine today when he grieved the sudden and unexpected death of someone he loved. The message that poured from his heart and his lips was this .... "love everyone close to you EVERY day!"
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How much sand is left in your hour glass? Truth is .... no one knows but God.

Each day of life is a gift from Him, and if you are still here .... He has a purpose for your life. Do you know your purpose?

How will you spend the time you have left?

A "Sat(her)day" Celebration of Friendship

My Sat(her)day time today will be spent enjoying friendship.

My hubby and I are visiting some dear friends who clearly lost their minds a couple of years ago when they moved away from us. We are very excited, and I know the entire visit will be GREAT, but the "Sat(her)day" portion will be especially sweet. I'm not exactly sure WHEN it will occur .... most likely, right after the guys huddle up for "guy" stuff.

And I'm not exactly sure HOW the "Sat(her)day" portion will unfold, but I'm thinking there will be green tea involved. Yes, this is my "green tea Atlanta" friend from last Saturday's post. : )

And I know for certain there will be COOKIES! But not just any cookies .... the most incredible pumpkin, with cream cheese icing, cookies in the world. Fresh baked by another friend for this occasion. Yes indeed, this "Sat(her)day" is gonna be SWEET! Friendship is one of the sweetest blessings.

How long has it been since you nurtured a friendship? Maybe today is the day. : )
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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

Steady Plodding ... : )

It has been said, we grossly OVER-estimate the amount of spiritual growth that can occur in one year, and we grossly UNDER-estimate the amount of spiritual growth that can occur in three years.

Why is that? Could it be because we want everything RIGHT now? Or dare I say, when we don't get what we want WHEN we want it .... we lose interest?

Think of the last time you made a purchase which required delivery or installation. When you were asked when you needed the product, you may not have said it outloud but you thought it .... I need it immediately, if not sooner. Am I right? : )

Even our "fast" food has become NOT FAST ENOUGH.

And don't get me started on the ridiculous expectations we have when it comes to getting in shape physically. Why do we think the effects of YEARS of eating the wrong foods, and/or the effects of YEARS of neglecting to exercise, will be magically erased in just 30 days - - or less!

The truth is, the only way to achieve long-term success in ANYTHING is steady plodding. You must practice it over the long haul.

So, going back to our propensity to grossly OVER-estimate our spiritual growth in 1 year and grossly UNDER-estimate it over 3 years. If we're not commited for the long haul, and willing to commit ourselves to the disipline necessary to sustain us for the long haul, we will never make it to the 3rd year. We slip out the back of the church, and its over.

It's easy to get excited about something new. But discipline, determination, and hard work are required to stay commited for the long haul. That's when we see results/success.
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What spiritual disciplines are you currently practicing?

• Attending church.
• Prayer.
• Reading your Bible.
• Studying your Bible. (And becoming a doer of what you learn)
• Serving (or seeking to discover your SHAPE) in ministry?

Are you commited for the long-haul? Commit today to a life of steady plodding.

75 & still Flipping! : )

What do you do 3 days after your 75th birthday ......




FLIPS in the pool, of course.




Today, I was inspired to live life to the fullest.
That's my daddy, and I love him so. : )

Green Tea & Thanks on Sat(her)day

A couple of weeks ago a friend in Atlanta told me about a new green tea. Knowing this friend like I do ... if she says its good, its good. So I made a mental note of the brand and told her I would look for it in our (one and only) local "healthy" food store. Yesterday, while shopping in my regular "not so healthy" grocery store, I spotted it. A most unlikely sight, but there it was .... way up on the top shelf. I climbed up there, and scored!

I rushed home, quickly put away my groceries (leaving the "prize" out on the counter so I would not forget it), and was off to my next appointment. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

It was late and I was exhausted when I finally got home (you'd think I would know the pattern by now - the pattern of "unexpected" when my hubby is away at the annual men's retreat) my "tea" was a welcome reminder of the promise of normalcy to come ...

Morning came, and my friend was right! This may very well be the MOST incredible tea on the face of the earth. Of course, the stillness of the moment may have contributed a bit to my sipping pleasure. Maybe I should have another cup before I proclaim it - best in the world. : )

Funny thing about being still, things come into focus. As I sat and reflected on the past couple of days, I was able to see past the unexpected chaos and remember the joy of the celebration that had occured just over 24 hours ago ... What a privilege it was to gather together as a family and honor my daddy on his 75th birthday!

That's when my tea time turned to Thanksgiving.

Thankful for good times, and laughter.

Thankful God picked him to be my daddy.

Thankful for his devotion to my momma for over 50 years of marriage.

Thankful for the twinkle (he still has) in his eye when he looks at her.

Thankful for his loving sacrifice over the years as a provider, and as a loving father of his 6 daughters. Poor daddy, even our family dogs were usually female. :)

My Sat(her)day "tea time of thanksgiving" is dedicated to my daddy.

With love, from his little girl.

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Sat(her)day may be done on any day (that works well for you) of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women in leadership to plan time for themselves at least once a week. My Saturday blog has proven to be an effective means of holding myself accountable. I hope it inspires you to the same accountability. : )

Sometimes the best option to regain balance is to delegate, delegate, delegate ...

Look at your list (see yesterday's post), and be honest. Are the things on the "only I can do" side of your list TRULY things ONLY you can do? Or are you simply unwilling to relinquish control of them? A wise "keeper" of the home knows when it is necessary to delegate, delegate, delegate.

Once you have identified the household things which can be delegated, you will need to identify the recipient of the delegated tasks. : )

If married, begin with discussing options available to your family with your husband. Together, choose the option which best fits your budget, season of life, etc.

For couples who both work full-time outside the home, you could possibly share the household responsibilities. For example, if one cooks, the other cleans up the dishes. If one vacuums, the other dusts. If one does the laundry, the other cleans the bathrooms, etc.

For households with children, you could possibly delegate a specific household responsibility to each child according to age & maturity level.

Another option is to hire a professional. If you are pretty good at keeping up with the daily cleaning, but never find time to do the "heavy" cleaning - perhaps a monthly visit from a cleaning angel would be just the ticket to get you back in balance. If you struggle just keeping the family fed, and in clean clothes ... perhaps a weekly visit from a cleaning angel is more in order. : )

Once you identify the areas which need to be delegated, and to whom you will begin delegating them, keep in mind the following:

• Be flexible. No one will clean your home exactly the way you clean your home.
• Be forgiving. Things occasionally will be broken whether you are cleaning, your teenager is cleaning, or a paid professional is cleaning.
• Be a good manager. Clear (and realistic) expectations are the best way to lead.
• Be appreciative. Remember this person's help is freeing you up to do other things God has called you to do. BE APPRECIATIVE. An appreciated helper is a happy helper, and an appreciative manager is a happy manager.

Help, my house is Out of Control!

Today, we are turning our focus to regaining balance in "keeping" house. If you're out of balance, obviously what you're currently doing is NOT working. So let's begin with a new plan of action. Being "keeper" of the house DOES NOT mean you MUST do all the work yourself. This can be liberating to a woman who thinks she MUST do everything. Many times, we're out of balance as a result of our attempt to do TOO MUCH.

For example, if you are working outside the home, are home-schooling your children, or have a house FULL of children ... you may need to give yourself permission to get some help.

As "keeper" of the house, we must have wisdom in determining what only we can do and what we can enlist the help of others to do. You must determine what is the best fit for you (and your family) during this season of life.

Give this some thought and then ... make a list.

There should be two columns. The left column should read "Things ONLY I can do" and the right column should read "Things I can DELEGATE & oversee"

When you have made your list, review the things you listed on the "ONLY I can do" side. Are these really things ONLY you can do, or are you just unwilling to delegate these things?

Join me tomorrow for more. : )

Sat(her)day - Morning Coffee Talk!

When my head finally hit the pillow last night I knew it would require true-grit determination to drag my buttocks out of bed this morning, and it did. After hitting snooze three times, I showered, dressed, and kissed the sleeping fam goodbye. Then I was off for my Sat(her)day morning coffee talk with the girls.

The absence of people on the road was a stark reminder that the majority of population was still enjoying a Saturday morning sleep in. My mind drifted back to my nice warm bed. : )

After parking my car (right up front!) I walked through the doors of Panera and was greeted by the most wonderful aroma ever .... freshly baked bread, pastries, and an assortment of other breakfast items. Oh yeah, this was worth getting up for! I took a glance around the restaurant and spotted our hostess. The woman who had been responsible for planning this Saturday morning coffee talk. I ran over for a quick hello and hug, then walked back toward the wonderful aroma to get my breakfast ... : )

Decisions, decisions, decisions. I blurted out, with great enthusiasm, I'll have a bagel! My decision may have startled the young man behind the counter just a bit but .... to a woman who has been eating just enough calories to keep her alive and working out like a mad-woman for 3 weeks, a bagel is a pretty BIG deal! : )

And so is some much needed "girl" time. One by one, our group assembled. We sat, talked, laughed, and ate "treats" together. And it was good.

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When is the last time you got together with the girls?

Is it worth giving up an hour of sleep on a Saturday morning?

Work it into your schedule, you won't regret it. : )

10 Ways to Nurture Oneness back into your Marriage

This list is by no means exhaustive. The first 5 suggestions are meant to simply reset your pattern of behavior. The next 5 are meant to get you thinking. The possibilities are endless... : )

1. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO NURTURE YOUR MARRIAGE! If you did not grow up with this example of marriage, you may need to ignore the voices in your head telling you it is selfish, or that a good marriage shouldn't need to be nourished. It's not selfish, and a good marriage definitely does need to be nurtured. And as for the kids, giving them this example of marriage is one of the most loving, and necessary gifts we can give. They may cry a bit now (especially if they are old enough to notice this is NEW behavior for mom and dad) but will thank you later.
2. PLAN IT! Get with your hubby and discuss the plan. And then get it on the calendar. Yours, his, and the family calendar!
3. GUARD IT! There will be times it will be necessary to change plans but ... define necessary. It is easier to define necessary before the "drama" strikes. Define necessary, and stick to it. : )
4. ANTICIPATE IT! Write your hubby a love note and leave it in an unexpected place (on the bathroom mirror, in his briefcase, in his lunchbox) telling him how much you are looking forward to your date. And (or) call him when you know he will be unable to answer his phone ... leave him a message telling him how much you are looking forward to spending alone time with him.
5. MEET ALONE! Be creative ... if your schedules are really out of balance it may be necessary to start with simply meeting for coffee, breakfast, lunch.
6. MAKE IT REGULAR! Commit to making this a regular occurence. Get out your planners and schedule it. Meet regularly (ALONE) for coffee, breakfast, lunch. Weekly is ideal, but bi-weekly is probably more realistic goal. Monthly is not regular. : )
7. DREAM TOGETHER! When was the last time you and your guy shared your heart, your dreams, and your passions with one another? Take a walk. Hold hands. Share your dreams.
8. PRAY TOGETHER! Nothing connects our hearts more than praying together with our spouse. This may seem ackward at first but ... hang in there. Pray with your hubby and see what happens. : )
9. PLAY TOGETHER! Remember the days when you were dating and no matter what you were doing it was fun, just because you were together? May I suggest that is because when we were dating we were more likely to be found "playing" together. Find something you both enjoy, and do it together. Something you can do (not as mom and dad) but as husband and wife, as a couple, just for fun ... PLAY TOGETHER.
10. GET AWAY TOGETHER! When was the last time you had a trip with your man? If you said your honeymoon - you need to plan this IMMEDIATELY! Whether it is one night, one weekend, or one week. The reward is sweet. Do not underestimate the reward in getting away together.

I hope you have been inspired by some of the above suggestions. If you are not doing any of the above already, do not be overwhelmed. Simply take one of the suggestions and begin to implement it today. Then add another, and another ... Take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey of rediscovering the beauty of ONEness when 1+1=1.

Balance Anyone? A Marriage 911

We have already established (in previous posts) it is NOT wise to continue just simply "turning up" the intensity of the area most in need of nourishment but... there are times when it is VITAL! Today, we will turn our focus to "those" times.

Let's begin with marriage. If you find yourself feeling more like a roommate than a wife these days, you have (most likely) been neglecting to guard the time necessary to nourish your marriage.

Ask yourself why?

Before you simply dismiss this by saying you are too busy, or he's too busy, or the kids have you both too busy ... Ask yourself (and BE HONEST) how intentional have you been in planning alone time with your hubby?

Time with your man is how you got to know him, how you grew closer to him, and how you came to love him while you were dating. And time with your man is how you will continue to know him, how you will continue to grow closer to him, and how you will be reminded why you married him.

If you have not been intentional in planning (by now) you know ... these times don't just happen. They didn't just happen when you were dating and they will not just happen now that you are married. You may share the same house, the same bed, the same kids, and the same dog but ... without time alone the oneness you crave will end up looking like two peeps going in different directions while sharing a house, a mortage, some kids, and a dog.

That's when we start feeling like a roommate instead of a wife.

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If you are there, or know someone who is, join me tomorrow for 10 ways to nourish oneness back into your marriage. : )

Regaining Proper Balance - Part 3

I promised you an answer and an answer is what you're gonna get .... over the long haul, the only way to stay in balance is to maintain the balance. Regaining (and keeping) the proper balance will require diligence. Determination, hard work, and maintenance!

Yes, regular maintenance. How often is regular? You will determine ... quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily? But regular maintenance is what's gonna keep you out of the ER (so to speak) and trucking along in balance.

If you're married:

• begin by discussing the areas which may need adjustment with your husband. Ask his thoughts on where you may need to "turn up" or "turn down" the intensity.
• pray together.
• be willing to adjust the balance according to the needs of your family as it grows/changes.

If you're single:

• consider discussing the areas which may need adjustment with a trusted friend. Ask for their thoughts on where you may need to "turn up" or "turn down" the intensity.
• ask them to pray with you as you seek proper balance.
• be willing to adjust the balance as your season of life changes.
  

Whether married or single, do NOT neglect that which is most necessary ... Prayer. Your husband or your trusted friend may know you better than any human on the face of the earth, and may love you enough to tell you the truth but ... God is truth.

He knows what was, what is, and what is to come. Ask boldly and in faith for the One Who Sees to help you plan ahead for what you can not see.

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Join me tomorrow for more ... : )

Regaining Proper Balance - Part 2

Once you have tracked and color-coded your calendar for about a month, you should be able to see which area may be in need of an adjustment. Keep in mind, your colors will not be even. Most of us have one area (color) that will be predominant but the other areas (colors) must be part of the mix. For example: If you're calendar is nearly (or completely) void of ...

• red (marriage) ... you may be feeling more like a room-mate than a wife these days. :)


• pink (home/parenting) ... you may have no clean towels, an empty frig, and hungry kids. : )


• green (work) ... you are probably fighting a losing battle with your desk, inbox, or project load. : )


• blue (leisure) ... you may be saying things like, "welcome to my world!" instead of showing compassion. : )


• yellow (worship/quiet time) ... you may not even remember how to show compassion. : )


• purple (ministry) ... you may have lost all desire to show compassion. : )

Once you have identified which areas may need to be adjusted in intensity ... If your like me, your natural response will be to turn all your attention to the area most neglected. Although this may be necessary from time to time, and a good short term fix ... it is NOT the most effective long term practice.

What is?

Join me tomorrow for more ...

Moving On Monday - Regaining Proper Balance

As promised on Saturday ... (see "Sat(her)day" Reflection) ... today, we will look at some of the "yes, but how" on regaining proper balance. Let me first clarify we are speaking of "good" things here. If you are unsure if it is a "good" thing? Philippians 4:8 it ...

... whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute ...

If it's not a "good" thing you don't need to lessen the intensity ... you need to throw it out!

That said, how can we identify which "good" thing(s) in our lives may need to be adjusted?

• Look at your calendar. If you are not keeping one ... start today!
• Pull out your highlighters. Give each "good" thing that occupies your time a color. For example, work could be green, home/parenting could be pink, leisure could be blue, marriage could be red, worship/time with God could be yellow, and ministry could be purple.

Why did I list marriage, worship/time with God, and ministry last? Because (unfortunately) these areas sometimes simply get whatever is left. Sad, but true.

If you have been keeping a calendar go back and color the last month of activity. If you are going to begin (again) the discipline of keeping a calendar ... color them as you go.

This exercise should prove highly effective in helping to identify which areas may need a balance adjustment.

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Join me tomorrow for more ... : )

"Sat(her)day" Reflection

My "Sat(her)day" time was nothing fancy today ya'll but ... oh, so good! And oh ... so necessary!

In closing yesterday (see "The Balance Battle"), I suggested we identify areas (extremes) in our lives that need to be lessened in intensity. So, resisting the urge to go ice-skating, I stayed home and did just that. : )

You may be wondering if ice-skating is really an area that needs to be lessened in intensity in my life. Right now, it most certainly could get out of control. But there have been (and will be again) other leisure activities I enjoy like ... reading, swimming, cooking, gardening, and riding roller coasters that have required a lessening in intensity to regain proper balance.

There are also the areas of work and study that can consume us. Even as a wife, mom, or grandma there will be times it is necessary to adjust the intensity to regain balance.

And I have saved the most dangerous for last ... dare I say ... our ministries. This one is tough because it is so difficult to consider this area may be in need of a lessening in intensity. But hear me when I say, ministry can become an extreme, and it will ... if left unchecked.

All of these things are good. All of these things are for our good. But all of these things will clean our clock if we don't keep the proper balance.

Today, on this rainy day in September, I spent my "Sat(her)day" in reflection.

Identifying the "good" things needing to be lessened in intensity to regain balance.

I invite you to do likewise.

Still wondering ... yes, but how? Join me on Monday for more.

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"Sat(her)day" can be done on any day of the week. It is meant to be an encouragement and a reminder to women of our need to be nurtured so we do not grow weary of being a nurturer.

The Balance Battle

I am absolutely convinced ... balance will be a LIFE LONG struggle for me! Seriously, EVEN in my quest to regain balance ... I can get out of balance!

You would think, knowing my propensity toward extremes and the number of times I have had to adjust my behavior to regain balance, I would no longer be surprised ... : ) Anyone relating with me here? Maybe just a bit???

The secret's out ... I am a woman of extremes. You know, the girl who is either ALL IN or ALL OUT! This is not necessarily a bad thing ... my hubby has never once complained during one of my cooking extremes. He has (however) reminded me of my need for balance when I am in one of my no-cooking extremes. : )

And so we are back to that ... balance.

The need to modify our behavior to regain balance.

The need for moderation.

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Moderation : Webster's defines it this way ...

To lessen the intensity of extremes.

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Are you out of balance?

If so ... your behavior needs to be modified.

Begin by asking, in what area (extreme) do you need to lessen the intensity?

"Wounds of a Friend"

As I confessed on Monday my life would be a little less stressed if I had taken advantage of the "heads-up" I received in July. (See: "Movin' On Monday" - Its easier to "be ready" than to try to get ready!)

You may be saying ... "Come on, Patty. Do you really believe the God of the Universe cares about your weight?" Yes ma'am, I absolutely do. But much more than my need to drop a few pounds ... He cares about my deepest need - - - to KNOW Him.

I love how He delights in showing Himself faithful to us in ways so unique and personal that WE CAN NOT MISS HIM!

Well ... lets just say ... He has my attention!

And this I know ~ ~ faithful are the wounds of a TRUE friend.

The only acceptable answer (even when our feelings are hurt) is, "Yes, Lord"
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Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6

"Moving On Monday" - It is easier to be ready than to try to get ready!

Somewhere between my "swings & hindu pushups" this morning, a conversation I had with a friend in late July came back to my memory ... I had just returned from "SheSpeaks," a women's conference for speakers, writers, and teachers when I confided in my friend there were two main take-aways for me from the conference ... 1) to lose some weight. 2) to respect my husband.

No, that was NOT the topic of the conference. What woman would attend a conference on that topic?!? No, this little baby was just for me ... It was a message I was getting in private, loud and clear. And I was none too happy about it. To which my dear friend and ministry partner replied, "Now, that's blog-able!"

Easy for her to say! There was NO WAY I was going to blog about God taking me to "SheSpeaks" to tell me I needed to drop some pounds! Some things are just plain private. Right? Obviously not. : )

Today, I am laughing. And I am in complete agreement with my friend that this is in fact ... "blog-able!"

There was no way for me to know in late July that today I would be preparing for a trip. A trip my husband and I have been dreaming of for 15 years! A trip that I would have only 5 weeks to prepare for!!! But God did. : )

If I had only listened to Him in July, I wouldn't be stressing out today over things like ...

Just how many days can a girl go without food anyway?

And

How many "swings" & "hindu pushups" will it take to not giggle?


Needless to say, the message I received in July is a little easier to accept knowing what I know today. And may I add, I have a new take-away ... It is much easier to "be ready" than to try to hurry up and get ready. :)

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Has God given you a message (in private) you were not expecting?

Something you are none too happy about?

You have a choice friend ...

you can listen to God and "be ready"

or you can continue to be offended by the message and do nothing

Either way, what is coming WILL come.

And (take it from one who knows) it is MUCH easier to "be ready" than to try to get ready.

Sat(her)day - Preparation

Today, my "Sat(her)day" experience was a celebratory time of preparation.

Allow me to explain ... My husband and I have been dreaming of a romantic get-a-way for 15 years! A trip for two ... to paradise. Unfortunately, every time we have planned our trip, we have allowed the pressures of life (fear) to redirect our paths.

This past week, we determined to begin taking the steps necessary to bring our dream to fruition ... its been a FUN week of preparation.

Today, during my "Sat(her)day" time, I am celebrating what is yet to come ... : )

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What is your dream?

Have you allowed the pressures of life (or fear) to redirect your path?

Have you made the preparations necessary to bring your dream to fruition?

Take your dream, your fears, and your priorities ... to God.

Allow Him (and only Him) to redirect your path.

Blessings to you as you continue to DREAM! : )

Sat(her)day - Drive

This has been a week of extremes.

Extreme highs like, a wedding celebration, a speaking engagement, the start of a new session of Bible study, and some precious time with a young friend while his parents were away.

And extreme lows like, heart-breaking stories of divorce, unwed pregnancy, custody battles, terminal illness, job-loss, financial struggles, and drug addiction.

Yes, it has been a week of extremes.

Extreme weeks call for extreme measures! So for my "Sat(her)day" time today, I put on my favorite convertible ball cap, put the top down, and was off for a mid-day afternoon wind-down ... drive!

First stop - my favorite "drive-thru" for a strawberry mango freeze. Then on to my favorite driving stretch by the lake. Sipping on my freeze, singing along with my favorite CD, while driving alongside the lake ... I spent my "Sat(her)day!" And it was good. : )

"Where Were You" Part 2

Scared is a gross understatement (see part 1) - I was terrified! And I was not alone... Even the high paid and "prepared for anything" network TV news people were unable to mask their fear. The disbelief in their eyes, and their white-washed faces proved there are things so horrific, so incomprehensibly evil, no one can fully prepare. We were eye-witnesses of this evil on 9.11.01, and many (including myself) were shaken to the very core of their belief ... In an instant, everything changed.


In the midst of the chaos, I was compelled to locate my family. After hearing their voices, and having the assurance of their present safety, we were able to discuss a plan of action in the event the attack came closer to our home. Then overwhelmed by emotion, and unable to watch as the graphic images were being replayed over and over again, I turned off the TV. As I sat alone in silence in my living room, I realized I had not been "here" before. This was a "new" experience. This was a new crisis of belief. And this crisis, like any crisis of belief, required a decision. There was a call to action, no time to stand still. I could either run away in fear or I could run to my God with my fear. I am happy to say, by the grace of God, I ran to Him with my fear.

I ran to Him with my disbelief.
I ran to Him with my fear.
I ran to Him with my anger.
I ran to Him because I knew there was nowhere else to run.
And that is why I am forever changed.

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Are you scared?

Are you angry?

Are you rocked to the very core of everything you have ever believed?

You, my friend, are in crisis.

A crisis of belief.

You have one of two choices:

1. Run away in fear.
2. Run to the One who can take away your fear.

His name is Jesus, and He is faithful.

He is the ONLY One who is able to take away your fear.

"Where Were You?"

The "where were you" question of our generation is, "Where were you on 9-11?"

... I was at home. I heard the first report while I was dressing for work. I literally fell into a chair as I watched the gut wrenching moments unfold LIVE on the morning news. I never made it to work that day. Like millions of Americans, my priorities suddenly changed. My agenda didn't seem too important anymore. I was glued to the TV.

The images of that day are forever burned into my memory. Images of things I never dreamed were possible on American soil. The America on TV didn't even look like America! It was not the America that I had known. This was "news" all right. It was a new day, a new time, and a new America. And things were not looking good! Things would never be the same. I was scared.

Join me tomorrow for more ...

Protection from Growing Weary

How do you love the unlovely? ... unto the Lord.

Ministry is messy, often misunderstood, rarely appreciated, and will take the wind right out of your sail if you try to do it unto men. So... how do you protect yourself from growing weary????

By (honestly) examining your service.

Is it ... unto men?

or

Is it ... unto the Lord?

9:09 on 09/09/09!

I actually heard an announcement on network TV earlier, "The time is now 9:09, on 09/09/09!" I kid you not, NETWORK TV and the BIG morning news was the date and the time. I couldn't help but chuckle. : )

I began to think ... the date is pretty cool but is it "news" worthy???

That's when it struck me ... (for me) it ABSOLUTELY is!

You see, today is a day of reconciliation.

A day of (long awaited) answered prayer.

A day of new grace.

Yes, today is GRACE day!

Today, I am reconciled with a young woman who was once as close as a daughter. And I have the pleasure of helping to make her wedding day BEAUTIFUL! Today, is quite "news" worthy to me. Today, in my heart, will always be "GRACE" day!
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Are you in need of grace? Are you praying for reconciliation with someone you love? Are you weary of waiting for an answer? Don't give up friend ... "GRACE" day is worth the wait.

SonDay, Sunday - God Can Do Anything! Just ask a 3rd Grader...

Every Sunday, I have the privilege of teaching a wonderful group of 8 & 9 year old boys and girls. I am the teacher and also a student. Here's what I learned in 3rd grade today ...

We spent the bulk of our time looking at Luke 1:37. One translation read: Nothing will be impossible with God. Another read: God can do anything. I had a blast (and it was a perfect fit for my sanquine personality) discussing just how big God is!

We also spent some time looking at our differences and similarities. As the students paired up with a classmate they made a list of some of the ways they were different and similiar. We spent some time celebrating the unique way God had designed each one of them.

In our closing time together, the students were given a note card, an envelope, and an opportunity. On the note card (if they chose to do so) they were to write their most prominent ability, talent, or passion. Then place the card in the envelope, seal it, and write - - To: God, From: Their Name

This was when it really got good ... with great excitement and enthusiasm, these precious children did it! Never have I seen such a VIVID display of faith! These kids truly believed God had given them their abilities, talents, and passions for a specific purpose. And they were anxious to give them back to God to use however He chose to do so. WHAT GREAT FAITH!

How I know my Jesus smiled on their faith today. I sure did. : )

This is what I learned in 3rd grade Sunday School today ... we "big" people sure can learn a lot about faith from "little" people.
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Without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

Sat(her)day K.I.S.S

Following my confession yesterday (see "God is Faithful ... but are His people) my Sat(her)day plan for today is to : "Keep It Simple, Silly!" And so far its going great ...

No alarm was set.

No morning agenda.

No expectations of a well-executed plan.

Just a good old-fashioned sleep in, boy was it good!

I slept better than a baby. I slept like a woman who had fresh perspective of the peace that follows giving up the right to do things "her" way.

Today, I choose to enjoy a "Sat(her)day K.I.S.S. by keeping it simple, silly.

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What is your struggle?

What is wearing you out?

Give up the fight .... and choose to "Keep It Simple, Silly!"

Enjoy the peace that follows ... : )

God is Faithful ... but are His people?

If the above title steps on your toes ... Come on in! Because you (friend) are not here by chance. You have probably heard it said, "we are exhausted not by the things we do but by the things we have left undone." Today, with a new spring in my step, I know it to be true! Allow me to explain ...

A couple of months ago, my husband and I learned our very dear friends had been robbed. It happened shortly after moving away from the comfort and security of friends, and a church family that ABSOLUTELY ADORED THEM, to go to a new city. A city where they were beginning a new church. By the time we heard the news, the stolen property had already been replaced by the insurance company. Loving our friends, we (JOYFULLY!) offered to reimburse their out-of-pocket expenses incurred by the deductible. Our friends were encouraged and so were we! It was a win-win ... until, we paused.

That VERY DAY we sat down to write the check and mail it. Then we started thinking how much fun it would be to give it in person. You see, we had already planned to visit them later that month. Cash, in person, beats a stinky old check in the mail every time... Right? So, it was settled. It was a good plan and we were excited.

However, as plans often do, our plan changed. A series of unexpected circumstances caused us to reschedule. More unexpected circumstances made it necessary to reschedule again. Still more unexpected circumstances ... and delay, delay, delay!

It wasn't long before the gift we so JOYFULLY and ANXIOUSLY wanted to give had become BURDENSOME and STALLED. I was exhausted, exhausted by the plan. Exhausted at the thought of executing the plan. WE NEEDED A NEW PLAN ...

Yesterday, when we could take it no more - - an apology and a check were written, and placed in the mail. Visiting our friends in person is still a good plan, and I will not give up until I get there ... But a "timely" stinky, old check in the mail was the best plan from day one! Trying to execute the wrong plan will FLAT wear you out .... EVERY TIME!
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What have you been "putting off" until you can do it your way? Maybe its time for a new plan.

I have LEARNED to be content ...

If I am completely honest with you, and myself, I knew LONG BEFORE I was willing to accept it that God was calling me into a public ministry. And even now, I struggle with "putting myself out there" when I speak, teach, and write. By nature, I am probably the MOST private person on the face of the earth! Which, to say the least, makes my job a bit challenging. The mere thought of hitting "post" on some days sends waves of nausea over me. Yes transparency, especially in written form, makes me want to change my name, change my hair color, and run to a new city? Monday was no exception. (See Chick-Fil-A, part 2)

When my head hit the pillow, my mind was flooded with thoughts like:

• How could you be so silly?
• Why would you need to be reminded something so basic?
• How old are you?
• What are people gonna think?
• You big dummy!
• Why would you admit it in writing?

Totally exhausted by my thoughts ... I closed my eyes, and prayed.

The verse that calmed my heart and mind was a familiar one ... I have LEARNED to be content.

You may remember this verse is spoken by Paul and is right before one of the most quoted verses in the Bible. ... I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Isn't it good to be reminded we have to LEARN to be content.

And we (just like Paul) will learn to be content, over and over again, as we walk through new circumstances.

How?

By walking in the strength Christ gives us for each "new" circumstance.

These are certainly "new" times in which we live today in America, and in our world.

We are seeing, and experiencing things we have never seen in America.

Many of us are facing financial struggles we are not prepared for.

Most of us have become very aware this is a new day, and a new time.

Take heart in knowing ... this is an opportunity to LEARN to be content in a "new" circumstance.
And whatever "new" God brings you, you can rest in knowing He IS able!

Stand firm in faith and you (like Paul) will be able to say ...

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philipians 4:12,13

Blessings to you as you continue the journey of LEARNING to be content. : )

Aaaahh, Chick-Fil-A - Part 2

The more to the story (see part 1) unfolded as I was sitting quietly in my booth, enjoying my Chicken Minis, strawberry smoothie, and my September edition of "P31 Woman" magazine ...

Enter stage left: A Party of 6. And 1 of the 6 was bearing a beautiful gift. Being a people watcher, and a girl who appreciates the beauty of a pretty package, this display captured my attention. I began to wonder ... What's the story here? What's the occasion? What are they celebrating? Why at Chick-Fil-A? I was intrigued, and deeply distracted, as I tried not to stare. There was something about this party, something different. Something that compelled me to stay awhile longer.

After ordering their food they walked toward me, closer and closer, until they settled in the booth directly in front of me! I had a front row seat, and was going to get to see it - - Who gets the gift? What is the gift? I was so excited!

They ate, they talked, and then the gift was presented.

It was given to a young woman, approximately 20 years old, from the older men and women in the party.

What was the gift? A pair of athletic shoes.

What was her response? Sheer delight! She actually squeeled! It was fun to watch.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what they were celebrating. It didn't appear to be a birthday. And their table talk was no help at all! But I did get the answer to one of my questions ... "Why Chick-Fil-A?" So I could see it!

As I watched her receive the gift. A gift she obviously needed, and wanted! A gift she would use with great joy! My mind went back to the reason I had needed to escape my house that morning, my cluttered closets, cabinets, drawers, and garage.

This is when it became clear I was NOT there by chance. This is also when God got all in my business of clutter.

Don't laugh...

Possibly for the first time in my life, I realized I buy things (a lot of things) that I do NOT need. My cabinets, closets, drawers, and garage are proof of that pattern.

Sure, by the time it ends up in my garage, I donate it. Donating is good, right? But better would be to buy only things I will use and enjoy. This would clear my clutter and UNDOUBTEDLY free up money I could use to buy specific things for ... specific people with specific needs. Now that's a win-win combination!

I can still hear the sound of delight in the young woman's voice when she opened her athletic shoes. I hope I always will. : )

Sat(her)day - Aaahhh, Chick-Fil-A ...

This morning it was quite necessary for me to get out of the house. I needed some space ... Space from all the weekend distractions of home. You know things like ... closets, and cabinets, and drawers, and a garage (oh my!) that have become so cluttered they sometimes keep me awake at night. (Sorry if this comes as a shock to you but yes, I battle with clutter!)

So I did what any woman in my position would do - I ran away from home! It was the only way I was going to meet my "Sat(her)day" deadline! On the way out the door, I grabbed the September edition of "P31 Woman" and was free, free, FREE! I would escape to a place where they are always kind, always happy to see me, and where its their "pleasure" to serve me! Chick-Fil-A, of course!

Followng a brief surprise encounter with one of my dearest friends, I settled into a quiet table and began to devour my chicken minis and my "P31 Woman" magazine. It was a nice 30 minute diversion. And I am once again glad I opened my BIG mouth a few weeks ago making myself accountable to a weekly "Sat(her)day" blog.

I enjoyed my time out of the house, and was refreshed from a mentally exhausting week. But it got even better, join me on Monday for the rest of the story... :- )

"Sat (Her) Day" - Keeping It Real

What was I thinking? Why in the world would I write on humility? Obviously, because I would be "living it" all week! I will spare you the details and simply say ... the humility lesson from "SonDay, Sunday!" is fresh and new "in" me! : )

This week has made me glad I opened my big mouth last Saturday (see "Sat Her Day! - Over the Top Good") because without the accountability of those strong promises ... my day would not have started the way it did today.

Last night, knowing I would need to hit the ground running to attend to all the FULLNESS of this day of celebration, I set my alarm extra early. When the alarm went off, I retreated to my sanctuary (a.k.a. the bathtub!)

I know this may be a little much for some but ... there in the stillness of the (EARLY) morning, while soaking in a bubble bath - - I met with my God. I allowed the bubbles to take away the physical stress, and I poured out my heart (worries, concerns, hurts of the week) to my God.

That is how I did something "good" for me today. It required an adjustment in my schedule but it was well worth it! ... I am off, and running! Taking the time "for me" this morning to prepare physically, mentally, and spirtually was a good investment.

Gotta run, my son is here in ten minutes with his little birthday girl, and grammy is equipped to make this a day to remember for the most precious little 8 year old who ever lived, and her daddy! : )

How will you "prepare yourself" this week?

"A Celebration of Life!"

Today has been a celebration of life ... the life of the most precious little girl to ever live! Strong words, you say? Not if that precious little girl calls you "grammy!" : )

It seems like only a moment ago when ...

... I first laid eyes on her.

... I first held her in my arms.

... I first kissed her cheek.

... I first whispered in her ear.

... I first fell head-over-heels in love with her.

Being a grandmother is the most challenging, and (I admit) the most humbling assignment I have ever accepted but - - is the most rewarding!

Happy Birthday baby girl!

The party began 8 years ago - and is still going strong!

I love you so much and I always will. And I'm so glad God picked me to be your Grammy.

"SonDay, Sunday" - Humility

In my Adult Bible Fellowship (a.k.a. adult Sunday School) this week we had a guest speaker from our church counseling ministry. I was deeply moved by this portion of his presentation - I am posting it here (with his permission, of course) in hopes it will be an encouragement to you, or someone you know ...


I want to be your friend, but first I must be your Lord.
Your pride is the primary hindrance to intimacy with Me.
I will help you deal with your pride.

As your sovereign, loving Lord, I will allow painful, unpleasant
circumstances into your life offering you the opportunity to
surrender to My wisdom, My ways, My plans, and My agenda.

Your surrender in itself will be saying no to your pride and
embracing humility … allowing you to draw closer to Me.
As you surrender more and more of your will to Me,
you will experience profound emotional peace.

Jesus
________________________________________

Will you surrender? Begin today. Or begin again, today.

"Sat (Her) Day, Saturday!" - Over the Top Good

This morning was "over-the-top" good ya'll ... and it wasn't even planned!

I was awakened by the silence of an empty house. No, that's not the good part and before rumors start flying around - there's no trouble on the home front. Hubby was simply playing an early morning round of golf. :- )

My "over-the-top" good morning began in the kitchen, when I did the UNTHINKABLE task of ... preparing a fantastic breakfast JUST FOR ME! I enjoyed my "girly" favorite, veggie omelet and an assortment of fresh fruits, and discovered cooking for one is fun, and yummy!

After cleaning up the kitchen, I got dressed and went to the gym. (Proof-positive of the connection between food and behavior ... Let's just say, I have never gone to the gym at 7am on a Saturday after eating an EggMcMuffin!)

After a shower, with the spontaneity still in the air, I remembered an unused gift certificate I had been given for a manicure & pedicure ... and it was calling my name! Mani & Pedi - here I come!

That's how my Saturday morning turned into "Sat (Her) Day!" morning.
I'm NOT writing this to brag, I'm writing this to encourage you to "go and do likewise" ...


Easy now, hang on - - Am I saying, kick everyone out of the house on Saturday? Certainly Not!

Am I saying, cook for only yourself on Saturday? Certainly Not!

Am I saying, to spend every Saturday at the gym, or getting a pedicure? Certainly Not!

Am I saying, to seek an "over the top" good "Sat (Her) Day!" experience every week? Certainly Not!

What I'm saying is ... my "over-the-top" experience reminded me it is okay and (dare I say???) HEALTHY to do "good" to ourselves on a regular basis.

That said, in an effort to hold you (and myself!) accountable, "Sat (Her) Day!" will be a regular feature on my blog. Every Saturday, I will share how I have chosen to do "good" to myself (some weeks may be an entire morning, other weeks might be just 5 minutes) and I will encourage you to do likewise ... by doing something "just for you" on Saturday, or the day of your choice during the week.

It will be fun, and encouraging, as we hold one another accountable in the weeks ahead ...

CAUTION - This practice of doing "good" to yourself will greatly affect your attitude while doing "good" to others. Be prepared to be caught smiling more often! :-)

Church Directory Picture Day!

Every couple of years our church updates the pictoral directory. This is "update" year! At our family sitting we attempted the impossible... finding a pose we ALL looked our best.

The ones I looked my best, my hubby had a glare on his glasses. The ones he looked his best, my eyes were closed. And with the privilege of having our granddaughter with us in the picture... The ones she looked her best, both my hubby & I were making "blooper" faces!

Anyone relating with me here? Challenging times, these family pics.

After looking through 20 poses, we found it. Although it was not the best one of ANY of us, it was the one.







The one because ...


it was best for our family.


I am pleased with this church directory picture but... it's NOT my favorite. My favorite is one of the bloopers. NO, you may NOT see it - some things need to remain private. :- ) Why is the blooper my favorite? Because it's a good reminder...

It reminds me of my need to look out for the interests of others before my own.

And

It reminds me when I do... it makes a beautiful picture.

"Double Portion Of Bizarre!" Part 2

Damage was minor, delay shorter than expected, and I was on my way home... Long gone was my "ahead of schedule" efficiency streak, but I didn't care. My only concern was to get home to my man. This was our final evening together and I was determined NOT to be distracted! I was able to keep my focus because I was prepared. Yes, preparation is good.

The next morning (rested and ready) I set out for the conference. Winding through the mountains of North Carolina, surrounded by nothing but HUGE rocks, I was suddenly very aware how small and vulnerable I was. And how glad I am that my very big God has His eyes on me. My heart turned to thanksgiving and praise.

I arrived at "SheSpeaks" with a full heart despite the severe thunderstorms which had followed me for the past 5 hours. With every session, and every encounter, God continued to repeat what He had already spoken to me on my drive ... "I am big. And My eyes are on you."

I left the conference with an action list a page and a half long, and was looking forward to processing all I had learned on my drive home. My plans (once again) took a 180 degree turn while traveling along I-85. I was in the center lane and there was a truck (not a semi, but a moving type truck) traveling in the fast lane. The truck decided he wanted the center lane which was already occupied by a unsuspecting mini-van! I was BEHIND the mini-van... I prepared for impact.

The truck took the middle lane, and in doing so... pushed the minivan (much like you would push aside a child's toy) into the far right lane of traffic. There was an explosion of glass that came back on my windshield. Both vehicles continued driving until it was safe to pull over, and no other cars were impacted by the collision.

I was speechless.

My mind went back to a conversation (okay disagreement) I had with my husband 2 weeks prior over which car I would drive to the conference. I thought it made perfect sense for me to take our convertible. It would use less gas and it would certainly add to my enjoyment. He insisted it was not safe - - He won. Needless to say, I whole-heartedly agree with his decision now! I don't even want to think about how that might have played out if I had been in the convertible when the glass came flying at me.

God continued to speak what He started on the trip up, "I am big and I have My eyes on you" and He added... "don't be irritated with your husband when I choose to protect you through him."

Not exactly the lesson I expected from this year's SheSpeaks but... I wouldn't trade it for the world! The "take away" I pray I will never forget is this - -

Do not be irritated with your husband when God chooses to use him to protect you. Respect your husband and remember... God is big, and He has His eyes on you.

Again my heart is filled with thanksgiving and praise, and a deeper respect for my man. :- )

"Double Portion Of Bizarre" ~ Part 1

This year marks the third consecutive year I have had the privilege of attending SheSpeaks, a women's conference for Speakers, Writers, and Ministry Leaders, so I am no stranger to the "weird" occurrences prior to (and during!) the conference. This year, I received a double portion of “bizarre”…

On the eve of the conference I was fully prepared (a first!), and had 2 FULL hours before my hubby would be home. So I decided to tackle some of the things on my “to do” list for the following week. It was incredible! I don't think I have ever had such an efficient day! Sitting just one traffic light from home, and still ahead of schedule, is where my plan took a 180 degree turn.

Bam! Crunch, crackle, thud … What just happened? Oh, no! Please, don't tell me ...

Are you kidding me?

How does a car ... already at a complete stop, hit the car in front of it? ? ? ?

Rather easily (it seems) WHEN the car behind it doesn't stop!

A young man, while attempting to change lanes missed two very important details ...
1) Traffic was stopped.
2) The lane he wished to occupy was ALREADY taken!
His mistake was a rude awakening to the car behind me, and (in turn) to me.

Because I was prayed up, and prepared for a Christian conference (smile), grace flowed somewhat easily through me as I said, “Accidents happen, no one was hurt.” I called in the report, and our little “parade” settled in to wait for a police officer to respond. It was rush hour, and our accident was without injury, so we were told the wait would (most likely) be LONG.

Funny thing about waits, they give you time to reflect ...

Poor planning on my part the year before had resulted in pulling an (almost) all-nighter the night before the conference. Needless to say, the 4 ½ hour drive the next morning was tough! I smiled as I thought, this year is better. Inconvenient, aggravating, not without incident, and not without cost, but STILL way better than last year! I would be home soon, and I was prepared...

What was still to come would leave me speechless! Check back on Monday for part 2 of "Double Portion Of Bizarre"

Guest Writer ~ "God's Red-Hot Gift!" Part 3

My friend, and guest writer, Carol will continue to paint a picture of "a sensuous wife."

(The following list is taken from Intimate Issues, written by Lorraine Pintus and Linda Dillow.)

1. She is responsive ~ ~ Shulamith whispers longingly in Solomon’s ear: “Make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits!” (4:16).

2. She is adventurous ~ ~ At times Shulamith receives sexual pleasure from her husband. Other times she is the initiator, aggressively stimulating her lover through intoxicating fragrances, seductive sights, and the promise of ecstasy. This clever wife titillates her husband by suggesting they take a vacation together in the country and make love outdoors. There among the vineyards, she will offer him old sexual delicacies and new sexual delights (7:11-13).

3. She is uninhibited ~ ~ Shulamith tells her husband where to touch her (2:6 and 4:16). She tantalizes him and entices him (7:1-3).

4. She is expressive ~ ~ Shulamith is verbally expressive: “My beloved is mine and I am his” (2:16). She expresses praise for his masculinity: “How handsome you are, my beloved” (1:16). “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men” (2:3).

5. She is sensuous ~ ~ A sensuous woman is tuned in to her body and the pleasure she receives through her five senses. She delights in her senses. In Song of Solomon 5:10-16, Shulamith gives into her sexuality and thinks about her husband in very sensuous terms. She dwells on his sensuous lips, his muscular shoulders, and strong legs and ends her daydreaming by saying: “His mouth is full of sweetness. And he is wholly desirable” (5:16).

No doubt about it, Shulamith was a sensuous, sexual woman, and God describes her sensuousness in explicit terms. God wants us to understand the beauty and freedom of our sexuality. Through the young bride Shulamith, God unveils the portrait of a godly, sensuous wife and, because His blessing was upon her, we can follow her example with confidence.

If you are thinking, I could never be like that, don’t be discouraged. God does not expect us to become sensuous saints overnight. He asks instead that we go forward in becoming the lovers He created us to be. Christian women should be the greatest lovers on earth because as believers, we not only possess physical passion, we have the ability to infuse holiness into our sensuousness.”

If a new beginning is what you want, you can start today, this very minute. Change can happen, but the change does not start in the bedroom—it starts on your knees. A change in action comes directly from a change in attitude, and that begins when you talk to Jesus. Pray Romans 12:1-2 back to Him.

Therefore, I urge you, (sisters), in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Guest Writer ~ "God's Red-Hot Gift!" Part 2

My friend, and guest writer, Carol continues to show us there is much to say about sex. And (perhaps) much we have not heard... Do you see yourself as a sensuous, sexual, AND GODLY woman? Perhaps you did not think it was “okay” to be sensuous? Or maybe you thought you could not be sensuous AND godly at the same time.

Probably most would agree sex is a gift from God. But how many give themselves permission to actually revel in the sensuous pleasures of married love? Perhaps in your mind the two do not go together. If you polled a group of women gathered for a Bible study, and ask them to describe a godly woman, you would probably hear things like, “A godly woman is submissive.” or “A godly woman fears the Lord.” or “A godly woman looks like the Proverbs 31 woman.”

They are all good answers, but the list is not complete unless you include “A godly woman delights in physical intimacy with her husband.” We are spiritual and sexual beings. And the union of these two is very powerful in Song of Solomon.

(The following is taken from Intimate Issues, written by Lorraine Pintus and Linda Dillow.)

“In the middle of Solomon and…Shulamith’s steamy, sensuous lovemaking, a third Person enters the room. Tenderly the Almighty Creator looks down on the two engaged in physical pleasure and says, “Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers.”

God was there. And He urged them to feast and drink abundantly of the pleasure He had created for them. Maybe you're saying, ‘I can give myself permission to go deeper in my sexuality because I see that this is part of who God created me to be. But I don’t know how that translates practically. What does a godly sensuous woman look like?’” Solomon’s bride gives us a wonderful glimpse at that very thing.

We will further study our "sensuous wife" example from God's Word on Monday. See you then.

Guest Writer ~ "God's Red-Hot Gift!" Part 1

My friend Carol is passionate that women walk in the truth of God's Word, and she doesn't pull any punches when sharing it. I invite you to have "ears to hear" what God has to say on this hot topic. Caution, it may be a little different than what your momma taught you...


God’s Red-Hot Gift is SEX, of course! But I am sure you knew that by the title, right?

When was the last time you stopped and thought about this incredible invention of God’s, and that He created it strictly for us to enjoy and take pleasure in? God has declared that His “Red-Hot Gift” of sex in the covenant of marriage was designed to bring us abandoned pleasure and intimate oneness with our husbands. Further still, to enjoy it using THE MANUAL on SEX, the Bible, will lead us to a sexual experience that is totally satisfying and downright awesome! When it comes to God’s advice about sex, I would say the Bible is hot!

Song of Solomon is a beautiful book in the Bible that describes King Solomon’s courtship, wedding, and early years of marriage to Shulamith. And it is graphic! And the treasures in this story are worth digging for. Shulamith is a biblical example of a sensuous AND godly wife. Often during the book, she pulls out a treasured memory of moments spent with Solomon and she relives it. She thinks about him, her lover, in very sensuous ways. Listen to these beautiful words of hers from Song of Solomon 5:10-16.

My dear lover glows with health—
red-blooded, radiant!
He's one in a million.
There's no one quite like him!
My golden one, pure and untarnished,
with raven black curls tumbling across his shoulders.
His eyes are like doves, soft and bright,
but deep-set, brimming with meaning, like wells of water.
His face is rugged, his beard smells like sage,
His voice, his words, warm and reassuring.
Fine muscles ripple beneath his skin,
quiet and beautiful.
His torso is the work of a sculptor,
hard and smooth as ivory.
He stands tall, like a cedar,
strong and deep-rooted,
A rugged mountain of a man,
aromatic with wood and stone.
His words are kisses, his kisses words.
Everything about him delights me, thrills me
through and through!
That's my lover, that's my man,
dear Jerusalem sisters.

WHOA! Did Scripture just let us eavesdrop on Shulamith fantasizing about her husband? YEP! God is not only giving you and me permission to dwell on our husbands in this way, He is encouraging it.

If you are brave enough, join me again on Thursday as we look closer at Shulamith, and what we can take away from God’s manual on sex, THE BIBLE!

Top 10 Ways to "Do Good" to Your Husband

Number 10 ~ Ask him! ... "What can I do to help lighten your load today?" Or, "Can you think of anything I can do that would be helpful to you today?"


Number 9 ~ Speak well of him. (To him, and to others)


Number 8 ~ Live (and dream) within your budget. : )


Number 7 ~ Manage your home well, and to your husband's liking.


Number 6 ~ Respect him. (And model that respect to your children)


Number 5 ~ Make time for him.


Number 4 ~ Be his friend.


Number 3 ~ Join him in his "play" (golf, tennis, fishing, hiking...)


Number 2 ~ PRAY FOR HIM!!!


Number 1 ~ Enjoy him! And allow him to enjoy you! (Be his lover)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Check back on Monday for a closer look at Number 1. : )

Excellence as a Wife?

There are few things in the world that I feel less qualified to speak about than being an excellent wife. It sounds easy enough - - An excellent wife is one who "does good" and "not harm" to her husband. (Prov 31:10-12) Perhaps one of the reasons we miss the mark of excellence is when we forget...

Just in case you have forgotten, men and women are different. And to make it even more personal, you and your husband are very different.

Now before you spout off a list of "you don't know the half of it!" May I say, if you and your husband were not different one of you would be unnecessary. Yep, most likely, the difference that now makes you crazy about your guy is what you found most attractive in him when you were dating.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

So, you could say one of the ways we "do harm" to our husbands is when we fail to remember we were created to be divinely different.

Join me on Thursday, for the Top 10 Ways to "Do Good" to Your Husband...

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 6

Following Monday's exercise (see part 5) I have little doubt you have a new sensitivity to the power of your words. After the initial shock, and when he got up off the floor, I imagine your hubby is pleased you did your homework.

As we have already established, it is NOT our job to change our husband. That role is already taken. Our role is to be his wife.

We gain valuable insight into excellence in that role in the book of Proverbs...

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.


In the above passage (Proverbs 31:10 - 12) we see:

• An excellent wife is a treasure to her husband.
  
• He trusts her.
  
• He knows she helps him.
  

An excellent wife is trusted by her husband because...
she does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add (at least) 1 thing to the list (see part 5) of things you appreciate about your husband, and continue to communicate them to him, verbally or in writing.

Check back on Monday for more ways a wife can "do good and not evil" to her husband.

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 5

In Part 4, we established... A wife is able, having the sufficient power, skill, and resources to help her husband. Being like him, her training or experiences, have given her the ability to harmonize with him. A funny illustration comes to mind...

One sunny afternoon, a mayor and his wife were taking a stroll down the main street of their city, while he proudly pointed out his accomplishments during his time in office. Then they walked by a construction site and a man called out and greeted his wife. He had been a high school boyfriend.
The mayor said to his wife, “See, dear, if you had married him, you would be a wife of a laborer.”
She answered sweetly, “If I had married him, he would be the mayor.”

The wife in this story understood the power of her influence on her husband. But before we get too puffed up girls, that influence cuts both ways. Just as sure as a wife has the power to be a help to her husband, she also has the power to be a hindrance to him.

Are you being a help? Or are you being a hindrance?

Ruth Graham said, "It is not up to me to change my husband, that is up to God. My job is to keep him happy."

One of the ways you can keep your hubby happy is by respecting him.

Make a list of (at least) 5 things you appreciate about your husband. And then begin telling him, verbally or in writing.

• Verbal and written words of encouragement: “You handled that wisely,” “I love being married to you.”
• Compliment the little things he does - in front of others and privately. Mark Twain said, “I can live two months on a good compliment.”
• Remind him of his strengths and accomplishments.
  

Begin with these. Then check back on Thursday, when we will examine other ways we can use our influence to help our husbands ... see you then.

Marriage, Pucker or Duck! - Part 4

A friend recently asked me how many more parts there were in this series on marriage. Maybe you, like she, are wondering the same. I don't know what number we'll end up with but, I know this - I'm setting up camp here and I invite you, like my friend, to pitch a tent with me.

In parts 1, 2, & 3, we have already established the following:

• Marriage is God's idea.
• God created marriage.
• A wife is given in marriage (by God) to her husband as a "suitable" helper.

Today, as promised on Thursday, we're looking at suitable.

Webster's defines suitable as:

• similiar, alike in substance or essentials
• matching, equal
• proper, belonging to one
• able, having sufficient power, skill, resources
• qualified, fitted (as by training or experience) for a given purpose
• fit, to harmonize with

Hang with me here, so we could also say...

A wife is able, having the sufficient power, skill, and resources to help her husband. Being like him, one with him, and his equal, her training or experience, has given her the ability to harmonize with him. Wow, there's alot to unpack in suitable? My favorite part is the end. Did you catch it?

A wife is given as a "suitable" helper to her husband for what purpose?

... To harmonize with him.

Aaaahhhh, this "suitable" helper thing is sounding better, and better, isn't it?

We'll pick up here (on the harmony) on Monday, hope you'll join me...